Well, she is actually not my sister. She is my cousin, but always felt like sister. She is a mother of a beautiful two-year-old girl who adores me. And I adore her.
Last week we met at my parents house and her daughter was obviously sick (she had all the simptoms of a flu). In the last few years I caught a virus on several occasions from different kids - and that's why I do not want to be in the same room as sick kids. One of the benefits that childfree people have!
Anyway. I explained that I really can not afford to get sick again (I already took some sick days in January) and that I prefer to meet when her daughter is well again.
And my cousin got really mad at me - accusing me of being selfish. And left. And now she isn't talking to me.
To be frank, I do not really mind. It is her choice. She will come back, eventually. I hope she will not come back before early summer. She will have her second baby then. And it is great not to see her too often during her pregnancy. I love the babies when they are born. But I am still not good at dealing with pregnancies.
Infertility does leave demage. I guess I will never be a good friend to a pregnant woman. It will always bring too many sad memories back.
One friend of mine (she doesn't have kids yet 'coz she doesn't want any yet) once made a friend's sister angry when she visited her and said, "Your daughter is really cute, like a cat."
ReplyDeleteYep...that mother was angry 'coz of the additional "like a cat". I know my friend well and she LOVES and ADORES cats, so I understand that she really gives a compliment by adding "like a cat"...but apparently the mother didn't get it and she gave my friend a silent treatment for years.
I hope the relationship between the two of you will be on the mend in the future...
Amel, this made me smile, and reminded me of when I was staying with my sister and helping her with her newborn. I was holding CJ and murmuring to her, and found that I'd called her "Puss!"
DeleteMali, your story made me smile! :-D THANKS for sharing he he...
DeleteIt's strange, what infertility does to relationships/friendships. I am struggling to deal with it myself. I hope everything works out with your sister. Some things just need time. ((HUGS))
ReplyDeleteYou know, I haven't had too much to do with a lot of pregnant women, but I have found some very easy to cope with. Especially one who visited me in hospital when I had just had my second ectopic pregnancy. She was wonderful - never said the wrong thing, never gloated or criticised. Unlike others. I think - especially as time goes on - it's more to do with the person, than the fact they're pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your relationship will recover. I suspect hormones are involved in her case, which might explain her outburst. (Though I do hate it that childless women are often called Selfish, and have posted about it in the past). And I am also really impressed that you are confident in your actions, and not too upset by her behaviour. Good for you!
dear girls,
ReplyDeletethank you for your comments!
I really feel that all infertility drugs that I took in the last years have worsen my immune system. I do catch viruses much more easily as I used to. So I really learned to avoid sick people, even if they are really cute kids.
Actually my sister is really good regarding her pregnancy... she is not one of the women always explaining all details.
I will phone her next week. This week I do not have energy... I have to save it for my job interview (it has been postponed to Monday).