Friday, November 23, 2012

Completely missunderstood

I was on messenger  with a coworker  from another department today, we were chatting a bit how  to fix some job related problem. She just moved to a new house and she asked me later on what were our plans regarding building a house and I explained that we think we might had found a perfect land and that we hope to buy it in few weeks...  (subject for another post, in January)

Here is the weird conversation that we had later on (I came to her office where 9 women are sitting).

She:  Oh, hello... I am so happy for you, I hope your dreams will come true.

Me:   Well, it is not sure yet... but I hope everything will work out.

She:   (obviously I missed some curious looks since I focused on the document in my hands).
          No, Klara is NOT pregnant!

Me:      (many curious looks that I DID noticed)
            Well, I am too old for that...

She:    You are not too old for that...

Only few seconds later (after delivering the document, wishing nice weekend and saying goodbye) I realized that she did not think that I am too old for pregnancy. She wanted to say I am not too old too have s**.

Bloody *****. Of course I am not too old to have s**!!!!


Closure for today: I will not comment ANYTHING EVER again to women who are mothers of small children. They just can not get it.

How to live beyond 100

I loved this article.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Weird question, weird answer

There is a weird conversation that I had with our secretary at work yesterday (she is 26, nice, loves to chat, she just started to work couple of weeks ago).

I was preparing some tea for me when she entered the kitchenette (we were alone, since it was very early):

She:   So, what about children?
Me:   What children?
She:   Your children.
Me:    I do not have children.
She:   I know you do not have children. So, when are you planing to have them?
Me:    I am not planning. I am too old. So, when are YOU going to have children?
She:   (Shocked by question). Well, I do not know. Not for some years, but I still have time. You are not too old. You can still have them.
Me:    Well. I have 10 dead children. No alive child. And I will not have any children more. 

The poor girl was shocked by my answer. She apologized briefly and went away. Then she avoided me for the rest of the day.

I felt total freedom. She will never ever ask me THAT question again.

I did not feel like explaining that my 10 children are only my embbies that decided not to stay with me.  Those are parts of my life that I do not wish to remember any more: the deep sadness when the period arrived after IVF.

Friday, November 2, 2012

The barren aunt

I spent yesterday afternoon my parent's house, together with my four nephews, aged from 6 months to five years. It was lovely. Very crowdy, vivid and loud.  Me & DH came back home completely exhausted. It was lovely to come to our quiet apartment to have our peace.

Today afternoon my sister came for a visit with her little ones (6 months, 3 years). It was lovely. I do not want to boast, but I really am good with children. They love me. I know how to talk to children, I always did.

It is lovely to be able to enjoy company of other people's children. I was not able to do that for the first 5 - 7 years of our infertility path. 

I guess I am quite OK with being childless.

The only thing that really hurts me are casual remarks of different people who regard my life less important (or even worthless) just because I do not have children of my own.

Today I read Mali's post The barren aunt and I just loved it: