Life after infertility

I love Pamela's latest article: https://blog.silentsorority.com/life-after-infertility/ 

I watched again Ellie & Carl's story from Up, I absolutely love it. In no other movie were the love and infertility so beautifully portrayed as here.

Je vais trouver ma place dans ce monde

I recently started attending a French course and I just love it!  My teacher is young, enthusiastic and full of good ideas. For example - she thinks that the best way of learning a foreign language is listening to fairy tales that you know from your childhood... this way it is easier to understand and learn new language.

I just loved it when we listened to "Le Vilain Caneton" / The Ugly Duckling: https://www.thefrenchexperiment.com/stories/uglyduckling 

Infertility (and living a different life as most people) is such a big part of me that I find meaningful parts even in stories!

"Qu'est ce qu'il a ce vilain caneton? Il n'est pas comme nous!"
"What about that ugly duckling? He's not like us!"

"Je ne me sens pas à ma place ici, je m'en vais. Je vais trouver ma place dans ce monde."
"I don't fit in here, I'll go away. I'll find my own place in the world." 

Je vais trouver ma place dans ce monde .. how beautifully put! Exactly! This is what I am doing here, by writing my blog of living childless after infertility. 

*** 
I just love this version of ending of the story. 

Les autres cygnes le saluèrent. "Tu ES le plus joli de tous les cygnes" dirent-ils. Le vilain caneton rougit. "Je ne suis pas le plus beau de tous les cygnes" dit-il "Je suis le plus HEUREUX de tous les cygnes!"

The other swans greeted him. "You ARE the most beautiful swan of all," they said. The ugly duckling blushed. "I'm not the most beautiful swan of all," he said. "I am the HAPPIEST swan of all."

*** 
Have you read my Christmas wish?
http://thenext15000days.blogspot.com/2019/12/my-christmas-wish.html
So far I haven't got even one single new email. You still have some days time :)

My Christmas wish

I have the same Christmas wish as the last four years.
I would love to get an email from you.
To learn who you are. 
Where you come from.
Why you read my blog.
What my blog means to you.  
Did it help in any way?

I promise I will not publish your emails, nor misuse them in any way.
And I promise I will write back :)

My email: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com


I am looking forward to Christmas :)
I loved receiving emails last four Decembers from literally all around the world!  


PS: I took this photo in Milan few days ago while travelling for work. I didn't buy anything, but I enjoyed a lot window shopping. Italians really master the art of decoration.

Womanhood does not equal motherhood

I loved this post:  https://jeneseraipasmaman.wordpress.com/2019/12/05/visibilite/
And I love the photo and the text. So very true! 

My French is not good enough to understand everything, so I used google translator.

I love the name of the blog (Je ne serai pas maman = I won't be a mother).

A photo album

 I noticed few years ago that in the photo albums that my nieces and nephews have there isn't even one single photo that would include me. I decided not to be bitter about it but instead do something about it :)

I told the kids a while ago that every kid will get for her/his 12th birthday a photo album from me.

The oldest niece has just turned 12 so I was working on the project for few weeks. The album turned out to be awesome (even the kid loved it!). It is full of photos of her - when she was with me. I am only on three photos (one is when I am holding her in my arm for the very first time).  On all the other photos she is alone or with other kids when we had fun days together. I am not on the photo, but I was always on the other part of the camera. It feels special - that very moment the child was looking at me and I captured this moment.

Instead of ordering a photo book I preferred to buy a real good quality photo album (I found a pretty light pink one) and have the photos developed. With each photo I wrote a date and a line or two. 

I hope that she keeps the photo album forever. This way she will be able to see that I was an important person of her childhood. 

The next photo album project: will be done in two years. I am looking forward to it already now.

***
Part of the photo of me, holding her for the very first time. I can still remember how heartbroken I was when she arrived (I was just after another failed IVF). How glad am I that those hard years of infertility are over!