Reading the Silent Sorority for the second time

I knew that Silent Sorority was published in spring 2009. But it wasn't until spring 2010 that I was ready to buy it and read it.

I remember when reading it for the first time, I almost cried my heart out. I felt so sorry for Pamela and Alex. I felt so sorry for my DH & me. No other book before (or after) touched my soul so deeply.

When reading the book for the first time, I was in the middle of IVF roller coaster (with 7 unsuccessful IVF treatments behind me and 3 unsuccessful IVF treatments still waiting for me).
 
I started to re-read the book again this week, three years later. This time the book did not make me sad. It was actually lovely to reread the book and see, how much happiness can come out of the dark years of infertility. You see, I met Pamela and Alex twice so far. And they are one of the happiest & loveliest couples I have ever met.

And I think that for my DH & me the darkest years of infertility are far behind. I really feel that only happiness is waiting for us.

If you don't have your own copy, here is the link:
http://www.bookdepository.co.uk/Silent-Sorority-Pamela-Mahoney-Tsigdinos/9781439231562

(whenever I buy books online, I always use this website nowadays since the postage is already included in the price).



PS: I took the photo on Sunday, while on the beach of the lake with my DH. Isn't it lovely?


PPS: I would love to get the photo of your book Silent Sorority travelling to a beautiful place. Please send the photo to  klara.soncek@gmail.com
It will be published on my blog (I took idea from the travelling dwarfs in the movie Amelie).

Heat wave & perfect day for swimming and reading

We have already had 10 days of heat wave & we are expecting another 10.

We had 34 C today, we will have 36 C tomorrow.

I spent the whole day swimming in our most beautiful lake - Bohinj lake with DH. I am attaching tree photos of the beautiful alpine lake and three photos of the rivers that flows into the lake.

And - I was rereading a book that means a lot to me.

Recipe for a perfect day!

Inferno

I am in the middle of reading the book Inferno. I really like it.

There is one of the caracters in the book that is childless. Some of the sentences from the book:

"Elizabeth Sinskey could never have children.
Time will heal the emptiness, her doctor assured, but the sadness and anger only grew inside her. .... For decades, she had battled her cravings to fulfill this impossible desire. Even now, at sixty-one years old, she still felt a pang of hollowness every time she saw a mother and an infant."
 
I googled the author quickly and I am not sure, but it seems that he and his wife are childless. I know that his wife also participates in writting, so perhaps she wrote these sentences?

Beautifully written. And sad.
I don't want to feel any pain regarding my infertility when I am 61.

I survived

I survived Niagara falls being blue.
I survived the royal infant being born.
It was quite easy. I just did not watch any TV news, didn't read any site with news.

***
Things that helped:
- swimming whole day in one of the most beautiful lakes yesterday: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Bohinj 
- cycling today after work

Auntie

I have always lived under false impression that I look young. Well, I might be looking young for 40-year-old woman, but I am not looking young.

When cycling two days ago I met in the middle of beautiful nature, on a small pedestrian bridge, a group of young people (in the middle of their 20s). They were having great fun taking photos.  I could see from the distance that they were happy to see another person that would be able to take photos of all of them together).

When I was passing by, one of them greeted me and asked: "Auntie, could you take the photos of us, please?"

I always take photos, whenever asked. Just not this time.

I responded: "Auntie does not take photos." And went away. 

Felt good about being unkind :)

Thanks God that there are still large families with three kids

I had a meeting at work with a client today. We have been communicated via phone and email for some months and today was the first time that we met in person.

I never have problems talking about the business stuff. Easy.

Personal field? Not that easy. 

He was very chatty. He told me that he has three kids and commented further - I am quoting him - "Thanks God that there are still large families with three kids."

(by the way - he didn't ask whether I had kids - I guess he assumed (correctly) that I didn't since not mentioning any).

***
I just wanted to scream at him.
Saying something like: Have you checked the World population chart lately?





Why is having three kids really good (except obviously for you)?

***
I am trained. I am a good worker. So I overheard the comment, came back to business part and ended a meeting successfully.

And yes. I admit it. I would give everything to have three beautiful healthy kids aged 3, 8 and 10. 


***
After coming back home I just dressed myself to my favourite pink & black cycling wear and went cycling. I fell much better now!

Srebrenica

I am always sad on 11th of July.  

Today is the 18th anniversary since the Srebrenica genocide happened. In July 1995 more than 8,000 Bosniaks (Bosnian Muslims) were murdered. The mass murder was described by the Secretary-General of the United Nations as the worst crime on European soil since the Second World War. 

Today on BBC: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23267348

Srebrenica lies exactly 570 kilometers (354 miles) from my home town.  It is so close!

***
Sometimes, on a sad day as today, I am glad I don't have children of my own. 
(the entire region has peace now. It can last for a decade or two or more. But I am sure there will be wars again. I just hope that not in my lifetime.)

The Joy of Old Age. (No Kidding.)

I just read this article:
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/07/opinion/sunday/the-joy-of-old-age-no-kidding.html?_r=1&

and loved it.

There is so much we can learn from older people.

(what I also loved is that the author doesn't mention that you MUST have children and grandchildren in order to live happy life).

Having a job

I have been very busy at my job lately. Which is good.   So many meetings. So many things to organize and do.

Which made me think, how lucky am I to live in central Europe. Where it is a norm that almost every woman has a job.

How sad it is to live in traditional societies where the only role that a woman can have is being a mother. Which is absolutely fine for women with children. But - how do childless women fit in there?

I am off to work :)

Summer

If it was winter, those two conversations would put me in really bad mood.

Yesterday I went to wellness center, to have a pedicure (a luxury that I afford twice a summer). The lady who was making a pedicure was very chatty (I am not). She was chatting about her holidays plans and then out of blue she asked: "Do you have any little babies?".  I just responded "No." and continued to read a magazine.

Some days ago a coworker from another department returned from 10-day-holidays. I asked her if she had good holidays (she was very stressed out before going). And her answer was: "You know how it is with two kids. I am even more tired as before."   I didn't answer anything, I got to the work part. But what I really wanted to do was scream: "No, I don't know how it is to have two kids!!!"

***
But it is beautiful warm sunny summer so things like that put me in a bad mood for ten minutes and then I am OK. 

There are so many beautiful things that I did in the last 7 days:
- 3 cycling tours (one including an elevation of 450 meters). Feeling great after cycling!
- picking up blueberries in the forest
- spending lots of time with beloved Wolf
- picking up my very first peas and cooking delicious pea-risotto

no thanks i will rather stay childfree

Somebody put today in google search:
no thanks i will rather stay childfree

And found my blog.

(I was told this info by statistics)

It really made me smile.

Really cool search :)

Have a beautiful day!

Meat? No, thank you.

If I had to chose one thing that I love the most about NEVER ever going back to IVF treatments, I would choose enjoying in my veggie diet. And not worrying whether I eat enough proteins or not.

My eggs were  bad qualityin the past years, so I always forced myself to eat meat at least two times a week to get enough proteins (obviously it didn't help).

I am not a vegetarian yet (sometimes I eat meat, but not more then once a month).

I will be one day.

Croatia, welcome!

Croatia is the 28th country to join EU.
I am glad that they joined!