My beautiful doll

It is interesting how memory works. I completely deleted from my memory the fact, that when leaving my parents' house I left there (among the other stuff) my favourite doll that I got when I was six or seven.  

My mom found it the other day, washed it and asked me if I wanted to give it to my little niece (who is 5). I said to my mom that I would love my niece to have it, but that she should give it to her since she will see her sooner.  My mom did give it to the niece and the little one just loves it. 

How do I feel? 
The doll was meant for my daughter.

If this happened few years ago, when my older niece was little and when I was still in the middle of unsuccessful IVFs, it would break my heart.

But now? It is what it is. 
And I am somehow glad that there is a little child playing with my doll. Much better option then that I would put the beautiful doll someday to a trash bin.

Being offended

I had such a weird conversation yesterday. I was invited with 10 coworkers to attend a special course, we learnt some new skills. 

There was our teacher for the day from another company, a guy in his late twenties, early thirties.

Before the course started we chatted a bit. Everybody started to ask me about Nina (=my coworker), if she did fly to New Zealand. I started to explain that I was so happy for Nina - since it was her first travelling outside Europe.

Obviously the young specialist did not know who Nina was, he wanted to be nice and to be part of the conversation so he asked me: "Who is Nina? Your daughter?"

I remained speechless for a second, but then I said the very first thing that came on my mind. I said to him: "Now you offended me."

He looked puzzled and said: "I don't understand."

I replied: "Yes, you are very young, so you don't understand."

Needless to say that my reply created a really awkward atmosphere. Silly me, why couldn't I just reply "No, she is my coworker"?

***
The reality is that even if I am 43, I still mourn the babies I never had. I still imagine myself with toddlers. And it is very cruel to be reminded that I don't look young any more.

When I told this to friends my age one of them replied that I really could have a daughter who would be travelling the world already. If I had her when I was 20, she would be 23 now.

But my calculation was different: the average age of woman in my country when she has a firstborn is 29. When the child  can afford to go travelling to the other part of the world, he/she needs a regular income, which is after the graduation from university, which is like 24. So whoever tells me that I look 10 years older then I am, offends me.

***

New Zealand has been on my top favourite travelling wish list, especially since I met Mali. This is such a lovely way to travel - when travelling includes meeting people that are close to your heart.

My veggies

I was so busy in the summer that I didn't even have time to post my beautiful veggie photos. I am attaching one summer photo.

Since I had so many zucchinis and peas, I put lots of it in the freezer; so I am enjoying in lots of veggie winter soups (and they taste so much better since I know that I grew the veggies, completely without any chemistry).

I have read this article:
Unexpected health benefits of gardening

I am looking forward to another gardening season that will start in less then 3 months.

The Jungle Book

Thank you for good wishes. My husband will get the results back within one month, I pray for the good results.

We watched yesterday evening this movie .... we both loved it a lot! It is brilliant.

(my favourite part of the movie: when the adoptive wolf mother talks to the boy). 

All I want is...

I have been listening to this song a lot lately:
http://thenext15000days.blogspot.si/2016/01/jacques-brel-la-chanson-des-vieux.html

How I hope to listen to this song with my husband also when we are in our 80s.

My husband has had some changes on the skin, it is possible that he has skin cancer. He will get the results back within one month.   

I know that even if he has skin cancer, it is highly treatable. But I still worry....

It is just silly, to think about the silly things I worry sometimes. Being childless? Not a problem at all. All I want is to  have my husband in my life for many decades to come. 

Happy 95th birthday, Betty White!

I have just watched this video on CNN:
Happy 95th Birthday Betty!

Betty White is beautiful, even when 95. How I loved watching Golden girls when I was little!  I started watching it at the same time when I started learning English, I picked quite some English just by watching the show. Needless to say, Betty / Rose was my favourite character.

Not really important, but still. Did you know that Betty White has never had children of her own?
How I wish to be as cool as she is when I am old! 

I hate eblogger!

For the last two months, whenever I log into my blog, this is the photo that eblogger welcomes me with: