Saturday, April 10, 2021

Paying forward

 


The topic about childlessness has become less and less important to me as the years are passing by. Writing this blog has helped me infinitely. Sometimes I wonder - does my writing still help anybody? I am not sure, but then sometimes something unexpected happens.

I see that someone reads (almost) all my post from the last 9 years within few days. I am deeply flattered, when I see that...  

Or I get an email from a young woman, a decade younger then me, who has just quit all infertility treatments and is accepting their childless life.  And she says that writing to a real person, who went through the same feelings ten years prior, helps her. 

I love that. This means I am still a needed part of this community. I may not be a mother... but I love the idea of being a big sister to someone who is in the hardest times of accepting childless life.  

I see that as paying forward... I will be forever grateful to all the women who had walked this path before me and have helped me. 

*** 

I have heard a beautiful sentence recently. "I'm not here just to be a mother, I'm here to be me." 

Sometimes I overthink - what is my role in this world since I am not a mother? 

Being me is just enough! 




Thursday, March 18, 2021

Childless colective summit

 


I came across Katy Seppi only few days ago,  I listened to a talk where she participated. I enjoyed listening to her and the others so much! I learnt that Katy is organizing Childless collective summit that starts today. 

More info:

https://www.chasingcreation.org/


I am looking forward to it a lot!!


Friday, March 12, 2021

Merci beaucoup

 


I've just had a French course that I love attending.  I was put for 15 minutes in a break-out-room with a 60-old-woman. We had to do a dialogue - I was interviewing her, so I asked plenty of questions. Some of the questions she helped to form - like this one - Are you married. So I asked her if she was married.  She replied in a very sad voice: "No, I am a widow."  I could see her pain and somehow I sensed that her loss was recent. So I said: "I am sorry for your loss." She looked directly into my eyes (well, she looked directly in the camera) and said: "Merci beaucoup."
It was a brief moment. But it meant a lot.

After working on the interview I asked her if she was planning to join the next level of the French course and she replied that she wasn't sure. I encouraged her to join. Her eyes sparkled and she said that she might.

I made a little difference in someone's life today. It is not a lot, but I feel good.

Dandelion

 

In my country we believe in healing powers of dandelion.  Picking up dandelion is a national hobby every spring. 

As I have written before, the only positive side of pandemic for me is having time. I love having time for picking the dandelion, cleaning it and then making a tasty salad. It is delicious is warm potatoes and eggs. I add also salt, good olive oil and vinegar. Bon appetit :)




DOC - Nelle tue mani

Did any of you watched House M.D. and absolutely loved it? (I watched all the seasons and loved it!).

 

DOC - Nelle tue mani Poster

I got as part of homework for my Italian lessons to watch the Italian TV series DOC - Nelle tue mani: 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11876490/


I watched it and it is brilliant, I loved it as much as House M.D.  It was also great to listen to beautiful Italian!

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

Childless Elderwomen

 


I listened to Jody Day's "Childless Elderwomen" conversations. Both are just brilliant and I am already looking forward to the next one:

https://gateway-women.com/childless-elderwomen/

 

There are many parts that touched me, this is one of those:

"Going back to those women in their thirties and forties - that’s one of the things I would say to them is because it blindsided me, and many of the women that are in my online community. We talk about it and write about it all the time. This is my own theory and okay, maybe this'll be part of my 500 words - about ‘getting your girlfriends back’ - when their children go off to college, suddenly they have time for you again, they have a little bit of free money to go to the movies again.

You get your girlfriends back and then, just as you settle into that comfort, the grandchildren arrive and you lose them all over again. The difference is that now you're in your forties and you didn't see it coming, and you can offer, “Oh, I'll go with you with your grandchildren,” but it's exactly like it was in your thirties, you just got more grey hair - they don't really want you around, the grandchildren came. And when you do get your girlfriend alone, all she wants to talk about are the grandchildren.

That's one of the things I am going to say real quick again about our conferences at The NotMom summits - women kept saying to me that they never realized that in their private real lives at home, when another woman would pull out their wallet, they would sort of cringe up because they’d anticipate being shown their kids or their grandkids. But for those three days, people were whipping out their wallets or their phones and were showing pictures of their gardens and their dogs and their cats!

It really showed all of us that much like ... I'm sorry, I think it was Jackie said, is that once you find other people who are more like you, you can put your shoulders back down and feel not just accepted, but seen. .Because without grandchildren, and since we are heading to a place where grey hair makes you invisible. Now you get with your girlfriends and you're invisible again because you don't have any little people to show pictures of."

by  Karen Malone Wright

 

What I loved the most is the energy, love, wisdom, joy and humour that the women had. I do hope I will be as cool in 20 years!  


**************** 

I decided that from now on most of my posts will be accompanied by a photo that I took lately. My husband's dog wasn't sure what I was doing, so this is his contribution to taking photo :)




I am trusting the uncertainty


I can't wait to read the latest Rupi Kaur's book: Home Body. She is so young and so talented. I wish I could write as she does! 

So far I've read only few quotes and I love them.

 

Some of her quotes: 

 

“i am trusting the uncertainty
and believing i will
end up somewhere
right and good”
Rupi Kaur, Home Body  

 

“you didn’t lose it happiness has always been here - you just lost perspective”
Rupi Kaur, Home Body   

 

“i get so lost
in where i want to go
i forget that the place i’m in
is already quite magical”
Rupi Kaur, Home Body 

 

“my mind keeps running off to dark corners and coming back with reasons for why i am not enough”
Rupi Kaur, Home Body  
 


“you lose everything
when you don't love yourself

- and gain everything when you do”
Rupi Kaur, Home Body