Thursday, March 29, 2018

Meeting a neighbour

I went to a shopping centre when somebody called my name and greeted me very warmly. It was my neighbour, fifteen years older then me, she is a cleaning lady there. I don't know her well, so I didn't know where she worked.

We started to chat and somewhere in the middle of conversation I asked her how are her granddaughters.  When we moved in -  fifteen years ago - I saw her very often with two little girls so I assumed they were her granddaughters.

When I asked her, her eyes became wet and told me that she didn't have any children because she couldn't have them. The girls are her husband's niece's daughters.

I apologized to her for my question. I added that I also couldn't have children.

It was as if she had been waiting all life for someone who would understand her pain, so she started to tell me all the story.

I was sad for her pain. You see, it was even much harder for her to survive the infertility as for me. In her times, most of women had children much younger which means it was more likely that they could have them. And she suffered infertility without being able to connect on internet with women who would understand her.

She told me that the two little girls loved them so much when they were little. They were always buying them the most expensive gifts, whatever they wished for. Now they are teenagers so they never come. Except when the uncle and aunt invite them for a shopping trip.

It is another confirmation for me that I want to remain auntie who never buys material things. I am auntie who takes kids for fun activities.  My latest activity with them is inviting them twice per month to my home to learn German. Main tool of learning: watching cartoons in German & listening to songs on youtube. I enjoy it a lot. 

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Being sorry for someone I don't know

A friend of mine told me a story about her coworker. I don't know her, but I know her husband since we went to the same school.  They have been trying to have a child for years, without any success. Now they are having IVF and he gave her an ultimatum: if it doesn't work, he wants a divorce.

I don't know this girl, but I feel so sorry for her. I am sorry that she is struggling with infertility. I am sorry that she married someone who is handsome on outside but has black cruel soul. And I am sorry that she has a friend who is not a friend at all - she told this very personal humiliating information to her and she told few others who told the rest. 

I hope she heals and that one day she finds the love of her life. Since that man for sure isn't.