Saturday, October 29, 2022

I don't have to justify my existence with anything


I met a dear friend of mine. We met while going to the IVFs at the same time. She was one of the lucky ones, I wasn't. 

Our paths parted, but whenever we meet - it feels like yesterday. I can't imagine going through the hell of failed IVFs without her. I have always loved her.

We went for a walk together and it was nice. But then, out of the blue came her comment that one doesn't need to have children of his own in order to leave a mark in this world. That I could decide to help someone in need. 

In old times I would just take the comment and wouldn't say anything.

But I am done being quiet.

I said that me as a childless person don't have to justify my existence with kindness. If I choose to help someone, it would be my decision as a human being (where it really doesn't matter your reproduction status). 

I live. I am a decent person. I am kind (most of the time). But to be frank, the world many times isn't kind with me.

Will comments like that ever stop to hurt? I guess not.

But what is a good thing: they don't hurt a lot and they don't hurt long.

And as always: a long walk in the forest helps me feeling better. I love autumn colours.