I had an annual pelvic exam today. I entered to the waiting room and it was a huge relief to see that nobody is waiting. Usually the waiting room is full with pregnant women.
There were tons of different posters, commercials, fliers for pregnant women and women with infants. Then I had noticed small fliers with a title: "Angels with wet wings do not fly." I liked the saying, so I opened the booklet, since I was so sure it was something about infertility. No, infertility does not exist in that waiting room. It was info regarding postnatal depression.
I was called to a nurse, it is the same one who is handeling me for the last two decades. Her first question was: "Any delivery?" I felt like screaming. I didn't scream. I just replied quietly "No".
She could only open my documents - it is all there. That I had 10 failed IVFs. No delivery. No baby.
Writing about it sounds silly. It hurt then. Now I couldn't care less.
If you get a big problem, you forget about the small ones.
My gynecologist was very kind, as always.
She found a cyst, almost 5 cm long, in my ovary. She said that it could be nothing. But it could be cancer.
Till today I didn't even know that a test with a name CA 125 exists:
Now I know.
One week of waiting before I get the results.
Do keep your fingers crossed for me. Please.