Saturday, November 30, 2019

Be fruitful, and multiply / Are you f** joking?

Somebody rang on our door today, I am home alone, so I opened. There were two women around my age who told me that they came to talk to me about the meaning of life. I immediately knew they were Jehowa's witnesses.

I never discuss my religion with strangers - especially not with ones who ring our door.  I always find way to politely say goodbye and close the door.

One of them showed me her smartphone and invited me to read numer 28:

28. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, *Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

It took my breath away.
Can you imagine anything ruder or more impolite to read to a childless woman?  I thought for a second whether I should educate these two silly women but then I decided that they weren't worth it. Besides - you never know who is recording you with intention to put you on youtube.

So I just ended the conversation quickly, said goodbye and closed the door.

Luckily this happened now, when I am well. An incident like that would have ruined me for days if it had happened 10 years ago.

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

A gift

This year has been hard. The scar that cancer left still hurts sometimes.  Some days are better then the others.  My GP asked me: "What did you think? Did you think that everything would be as before?".

Her question hit me and I needed days to process her comment.  I replied that I actually wasn't really thinking how would it be - I was too focused on waiting on operation that would  cut off the cancer. I didn't even think that there would be such thing as a scar that would hurt forever.

I am very grateful that the cancer is gone. I can only hope and pray that it will never return.

There is a gift that the cancer brought me. To see who are the people whom I really matter.

I am very grateful for my husband and my parents. And also for my cousin and my brother. 

I got many kind emails from my long time bloggie / penfriends, I am thankful for that.

But most of my friends from "real" life sent me only one text with good wishes,  I replied that the operation went well. Some of them also visited me and saw that I was doing well. But after three weeks after the surgery my condition deteriorated (I even had to go to emergency help over the weekend) and when I told some of friends what happened - some of them commented - "but you said you were healing well".

Yes, I was, until I wasn't.

Healing is never a linear process.  

Cancer helped me see the difference between the people who were really there for me in the process of healing and the ones who were only doing obligatory checking up on me.   

So resolution for this December: I will not waste any of my time with people who weren't really there for me during the recovery after the operation. My dog fully supports me in this decision. This way I will have more time for long walks with him <3

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Subjectivity and empathy

I loved Léa's post:

I don't speak French very well, but since google translate or  deeplL Translator exist, understanding any foreign language isn't a problem any more.  


Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Photos from Friuli Venezia Giulia - Italy & north-west Slovenia

Over the years quite few readers commented that they enjoy photos from my blog. So it is high time that I post some of them.

I've just returned from Italy from a short business trip. I am attaching few photos from Friuli Venezia Giulia (this is extreme north-east of Italy).

The chickpea soup with potatoes and parmiggiano reggiano was delicious. And so was tiramisu!

The last photo: Slovenia, when entering back home.

I love going to different places. But most of all I love coming home to our home sweet home.

Saturday, November 16, 2019

The Handmaid's Tale

I started to watch The Handmaid's Tale few years ago and I couldn't. It was too hard too watch and I just stopped - the first time that the word "barren wife" was used.

I started to watch it again few weeks ago, when I was ill and had plenty of available time. I watched all three seasons in ten days - I loved it! I just love the main character June.   

I am looking forward to the season 4 already now :)

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Why being kind could help you live longer

I have one hobby - for the last 15 years I've spent at least 10 minutes per day reading BBC News. I think this is a good investment to learn something new and at the same time practice English. I loved today's article:

 I read it with curiosity that was completely not related with my infertility. But when I came across these lines regarding tips how to live a kinder life:

"Include someone who is on the sidelines. By doing this, you have valued them - it's dehumanising to go through life unnoticed, unwanted and unloved."

The words struck me. I realized why it has been so hurtful to go through life unnoticed and excluded - just because I am a childless woman. I stopped counting how many times I was excluded from conversations just because some people assume I have nothing to say (just because I don't have children of my own). 

Definition: "It is dehumanising" - is so strong but at the same time so very true.

Monday, November 11, 2019

Autumn colours

In case you were wondering how do autumn colours look like in my country :)