Do you live the life you want?

Few weeks ago I read an article in German magazine with a title "Leben Sie das richtige Leben?" / Do you live the life you want?

I was eager to read the article, but was once again deeply disappointed. Articles that include childless people are always so black-white, typical and very cliché.

The article starts with a single childless man around 50. He was enjoying his life, wearing Armani and enjoying freedom. Then one day he met a refugee aged 17 and realized that his own life is empty. He realized he wished to have a son so someone would be able to visit his grave one day. He wanted to leave a legacy behind. So he decided to adopt a 17-year-old boy. And now his life is meaningful.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy for this man (he looked very kind on the photo) if he found his happiness by adopting.  But what makes me angry are the clichés that journalists boost. Only very few among childless people wear Armani (and certainly not me). Yes, my life is childless, but certainly not meaningless. I do like visits of people close to my heart. I don't need anybody visiting me when I am gone.

What about my legacy? I don't have the need to leave anything major behind, except million small acts of kindness. That's how I wish to be remembered by different people.

***
I was working in my vegetable garden with Wolfie today and when going home, we met an older lady for the first time who wanted to cuddle Wolfie. Not many people want to do that since people are scared of large dogs. Wolfie was more than happy to be cuddled and I started to chat with the lady. She is 76 and she does a long walking tour every Saturday: around 20 - 25 kilometers! She was such a vivid kind old lady, you could feel her good energy. She told me that walking gives her freedom. That her mother was always telling to her and her siblings: "You should live each day as if you are going to die tomorrow." She is following her mother's advice so she uses each day to do something active and nice.

How I wish to be like her one day!  

 

We get to determine our own “happily ever after” for ourselves

A dear pen-friend of mine made my day by sending me an article written by Jennifer Aniston.  Here is the part I loved the most:

"Here’s where I come out on this topic: we are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone. Let’s make that decision for ourselves and for the young women in this world who look to us as examples. Let’s make that decision consciously, outside of the tabloid noise. We don’t need to be married or mothers to be complete. We get to determine our own “happily ever after” for ourselves."

Full article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-the-record_us_57855586e4b03fc3ee4e626f 

Also flies can be childless :)

I had a perfect day at the swimming pool with my niece aged 8. She noticed that I saved a small fly from the swimming pool. She asked me what was I doing. I explained that everybody loves to live, including a fly. So if I can, I try to help (I know it is very silly, but this is the way I am). My heart melted when I saw my niece saving the first fly. I joked so I said that when the saved fly would come home she would tell her kids that there was a beautiful small girl with a kind heart that saved her life that day.

My niece said nothing, she was thinking something, but I didn't put any attention to that.

We went swimming (btw, I am exhausted. It is difficult to swim for 2 hours in a swimming pool that is 2,20 meters deep with a child that doesn't swim perfectly) and after a while my niece said: "Klara, what are the names of your children?".
I was confused, I said to her: "You know I don't have children. Why on earth are you asking me that?".
The niece replied: "You see, exactly that. You can't know whether the fly that I saved has children or not. Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn't."

Her brilliant comment made me laugh. What a clever little girl she is. 

A long way walked

I just returned from a short business trip to Italy. It was very hot, driving around with a car.
Highlight of the day: was delicious panna cotta con frutti di bosco after dinner. 
 

Summer sales already started in Italy. This photo shows, what a long way have I walked so far. After my first niece was born (she is almost 9), I was always left heartbroken, whenever I went shopping for her, to buy something cute for either her birthday or new year. And now, I am completely OK. I bought five cute Tshirts for nieces & nephews.
The company on the photo: I just love their designs. Years when the name of the company (=not to be mentioned here since I don't want to be googled through this name) made me depressed are just a distant memory...

My vegetable garden

I took those photos on my garden today.

My garden is full of life.  I often meet a frog in the middle of my  vegetable garden. I have there a beautiful caterpillar** and many ladybirds.

What a luxury it is to pick up my own lettuce. First three zucchinis will grow by Sunday.  Also 15 other sorts of vegetables grow and many beautiful flowers.

**Does anybody know this caterpillar? 

Asking a stupid question

I made a stupid thing today.

We had a business event and there was a guy my age. He was kind, chatty and full of stories. I misunderstood him something. Anyway, when I chatted with him alone I asked him if his children also train the same sport as he did when he was younger. He replied: "No, I don't have children yet."

This is the first time in the last decade that I asked someone so silly (I know, I should have listened better!).  I quickly apologized for asking (I knew nothing about this guy, except that he married ten years ago).

He just smiled and said: "No, it is OK, I don't have kids yet, but I will have them one day."

(only later on I found out that he is divorced and is dating a much younger girl).

Needless to say,  I felt silly twice. First to ask stupid question. Second for being envious of a man exactly my age, who has still a decade or more time to get a newborn. Woman my age? No time left.

Luxury of having time to read

 

I love novels that are so good that I just can not stop reading it. Like this novel of Japanese author.

Description from bookdepository:
Growing up in the suburbs in post-war Japan, it seemed to Hajime that everyone but him had brothers and sisters. His sole companion was Shimamoto, also an only child. Together they spent long afternoons listening to her father's record collection. But when his family moved away, the two lost touch. Now Hajime is in his thirties. After a decade of drifting he has found happiness with his loving wife and two daughters, and success running a jazz bar. Then Shimamoto reappears. She is beautiful, intense, enveloped in mystery. Hajime is catapulted into the past, putting at risk all he has in the present.

And right now I am reading this novel:

From one of England's most celebrated writers, the author of the award-winning "The History Boys," a funny and superbly observed novella about the Queen of England and the subversive power of reading When her corgis stray into a mobile library parked near Buckingham Palace, the Queen feels duty-bound to borrow a book. Discovering the joy of reading widely (from J. R. Ackerley, Jean Genet, and Ivy Compton-Burnett to the classics) and intelligently, she finds that her view of the world changes dramatically. Abetted in her newfound obsession by Norman, a young man from the royal kitchens, the Queen comes to question the prescribed order of the world and loses patience with the routines of her role as monarch. Her new passion for reading initially alarms the palace staff and soon leads to surprising and very funny consequences for the country at large.

And in this novel I already got an idea what to read next :)
I love luxury of having time to read.

*****
I had a lovely week. It was full of swimming (I swam twice in the outside public swimming pool and yesterday whole day in the sea). Picking up blueberries. Working in my vegetables garden. Spending time with Wolfie (and fighting with him, he is a rebelious teen). Trying to save the friendship that was lost because of my infertility, this is a theme for one of the future posts.

Life is good.