Thursday, January 3, 2013

Not healed yet

I just returned from a local library. Since having a tiny apartment, I don't like to buy books (exception: books in English, since I can not borrow them), I prefer to get them from library.

On another corner of library I saw an ex-colleague (we dated two brothers almost two decades ago). I haven't seen her for quite some years. And today - there she was, exactly 9 months pregnant (my guess).

What I did? I pretended not to see her, I quickly took books and just left.

So - yes - I know. I am not healed yet.

This is the way of  handling things. I prefer to avoid awkward small talk. In my language,  a very common greeting is: "So, how are you, any news?"

What could I respond to that? No, no news.


  1. know what you mean... seems these days small talks is one of hazards in the infertility/childlessness community, especially when one doesn't know what would be shared in "harmless" chats.

  2. Don't beat yourself up for avoiding what might have been an awkward situation. Even at my advanced age, I still avoid some people for the same reason. And you're only about a year in, and still in the age group where you can get awkward questions. So I completely understand.

    And actually - don't you have news? You bought some land!

  3. Don't give it a second thought. No, on second thought, congratulate yourself for dodging a potential landmine. There are days where feelings of loss literally take my breath away. Part of healing is protecting yourself from reopening that vein of pain, so to speak. One day at a time, one step at a time. Do whatever you need to do to protect your heart.


  4. dear friends,
    thank you for your kind comments!
    kelly - I love your sentence: "Do whatever you need to do to protect your heart".

  5. Hey, self-preservation comes first. No use in forcing yourself to socialize with someone when you know the end of the conversation is going to make you feel bad. It's wise to know your own limits. :-)

  6. I totally understand. I was brought to tears the other day when I read a friend's "Chrstmas" letter and she mentioned her daughter being pregnant.