I visited my brother's family yesterday. I love my nieces. But I try to limit the family visits as much as possible. Reason?
I really can not stand my brother who always addresses his wife as "mommy" even when the kids are not around. How can we have normal conversation?
I am OK with being childless, at least most of the time. But I am not OK with different social situations when I am constantly reminded of what I am missing.
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I just finished reading the last book of Grey trilogy. It was OK, I quite liked it. Although description of making love described by pregnant woman... was hard limit for me. I feel sad after reading those pages.
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Vanilla Early Grey tea & Nutella will help lift my spirit!
Hugs to you,Klara. I can understand that it's hard with social situations when you're reminded with what you're missing. Hopefully you're not in that situations too often.
ReplyDeleteDid you read "Fifty shades of Grey"?
I'm reading book number two now, I like it too! Did Ana get pregnant in the last book? :D
I am not replying to your question :)
Delete(don't want to ruin the pleasure of reading the book).
No, I am not in situation too often.
I am master of self perservation - I already know which situation hurt me so I just avoid them.
It's understandable why you felt the way you felt, Klara. In Indo it's a common thing to happen, though. Once a couple become parents, they'll start calling each other mommy and daddy or "mom" and "dad" or other variants. And once the couple become grandparents, then they start becoming "grandmom" and "grandpa" or other variants (not that they call each other that, but they refer to themselves using those names). To be honest I'm SO glad I don't live in Indo anymore 'coz it's EVERYWHERE and the culture there still expects you to get preggy right away after marriage (living together is frowned upon).
ReplyDeleteHEYYYYY I also love Vanilla Earl Grey tea (though it's probably unoriginal 'coz it's just something I can find here from Finland)! :-D
getting kins & warm comments always lift my spirt.
DeleteThank you!
Klara (and Amel) I can relate. I think it must be a universal thing.
ReplyDeleteIt amused me rather than annoyed (though I will admit it annoyed me a little), when at Christmas, my sister-in-law (who I have known since university days) rang me and referred constantly to our in-laws as Nana and Grandad. Perhaps she finds that easier than figuring out what else to call them? After all, I refuse to call them Mum and Dad (I have/had a Mum and Dad, and they're not them!), and so use their first names but they never do that in return. (ie my mother-in-law rings and says "it's Mum here" and I get confused EVERY time because I know it isn't my mother's voice!!!) But of course, it reminds me that we don't have any of their grandchildren.
Anyway - about your brother. Why don't you say to him "she's not YOUR mommy!" when he does it when the kids aren't around? Or "she has got a name - she's a great mom but she's also still .
still "Jane" (or insert name here).
DeleteHe he he...I'm imagining your confusion when she said "It's Mum here" he he he...
DeleteI actually call my MIL "äiti/äiskä" in Finnish, because I feel that she reminds me of my own Mom. Besides, it doesn't sound nowhere as close to "mom", so I don't get confused, I suppose he he...And when she calls, she'd say, "Äiti here." HE HE HE HE...
dear Mali,
Deleteyes, this must be confusing, hearing mother-in-law saying: Mum here :)
I can't say Mum and Dad to my parents-in-law... because they are not (I do like them, but this isn't a point).
I can't really comment anything to my brother.
I love him. But we don't talk personal things.
He wouldn't really get it - he would think I am just jelous since his wife is mommy and I am not.
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Anyway. Thank you all for your comments.
I feel much better today.
We have aprox 60 centimeters of snow and there will be snowing for another few days.
Magic!!!
60 centimetres?!! I cannot imagine!!
DeleteI hear you...I feel the same way. My sister had a baby on Christmas and I have just been staying away. With my husbands sisters, you can't get through a sentence without one of the kids coming up.
ReplyDeleteI finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy too!
KT I just went through the same thing. My sister had a baby right before Christmas (12/23) and it was quite a challenge to get through the holidays. I too am trying to figure out when I am ready to see the new nephew. It just felt like a double whammy- Xmas and new baby.
Deletedear KT & Anne,
Deletefirst of all: hugs to you! I know how it feels.
My first niece was born just few days before Christmas, 5 years ago. And this was just after failed IVF. It was devastating. It broke my heart.
Now, five years later, I already have 4 nieces & nephews aged 5 and under. It gets easier. I enjoy the most when I have some moments just with them. No adults.
Because no child ever hurt me with words. Adults did.
Klara- Thanks for the support and I am glad to hear it is getting easier for you. Now that you mention it, I see it too... that being around children without the adults is great. That is where all the fun and joy happens. The kids don't have any expectations (or pity) for us.
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