Beautiful Dolomites

I have just come back home from a long business trip to Italy, Süd Tirol / Trentino Alto Adige, where the beautiful Dolomites are. They are just breathtaking beautiful! 

I was away for a whole week. I spent some time alone, travelling around the region, visiting clients. And some on an event, where many colleagues that I have known for years were.

Since I am  over 40 and since my hair started turning grey (and I haven't started dyeing my hair yet), I don't get silly questions about my reproductive plans any more. But, I still get many stupid questions.  One colleague asked me: "So, is your coworker X pregnant yet?" (explanation: my coworker has been in relationship for some years now, she is around 30).

I hate questions like this. So I just responded that I don't know, but that probably not since she just returned from travelling to Asia. Stupid woman commented: "Oh, I just thought she she should be pregnant by now, it is already the time."

I avoided company of this narrow minded colleague for the rest of the time.

But as always,  I didn't let  this silly question ruin my mood.

I enjoyed practicing my languages. I was talking half of the time in Italian, half of the time in German. It was a great practice! Sometimes, when I was tired, I just started to mix both languages.... but it didn't matter since the vast majority speak both languages.

Then, there was another, very kind spirited colleague whom I feared meeting after almost 5 years. The last time that we met, we talked about our struggle how difficult is to try for a child unsuccessfully for a decade. I knew she is a mother of 3-year-old boy now.  What I didn't know is that her little boy has mild version of cerebral palsy.  I wish him all the best.  I loved talking with this colleague. This hard experience made her wise.  We talked about many things. And our conclusion was many times that life isn't easy. And all we can do is to be strong and solve the problems the best that we can.   

I am attaching many beautiful photos. I hope you will enjoy them. 

My kids will be raised well

This was the sentence that my 15-year-pupil wrote in his latest English test. They had to use the verb "to raise" in a sentence and this is the sentence he wrote.

This sentence made me think. Would I write a sentence like this when 15? Probably yes. Would my DH write a sentence like this when 15?

The boy's sentence hurt.
I wish that all his dreams come true. 
It just hurt to be reminded that my husband will remain childless because of me.

Priceless

Some things are impossible to throw away, even when old and completely worn out. Like the rope that I used for walking my beloved Wolf. I use it for Wolfie now.

I took the photo today, on our afternoon walk. Wolfie is a great motivation to finish work asap and to go outside with him.

Reading with a small child? Priceless.

I visited my uncle who was babysitting his granddaughter, aged 6. She is very bright, but she doesn't really like to read. I told the little girl a story how I taught to read her mother and that I would love to read together with her too.

She was reading to me for about 15 minutes, I helped her only with long words, the rest she can already handle. It was just priceless.

I believe in moments like this, that I am building ties with next generation. I don't believe in buying things (I buy gifts only for birthdays).

***
There is a 15-year-old boy, I have been teaching him English and German for the last year. But the school stuff is getting already a bit difficult so I mentioned his mom already couple of times that they should find somebody who studied English and German. But the boy's mom wants me to continue (since I managed to change her rebellious teen to polite and kind teenager, at least during our hours together). I was chatting with the boy's mom the other day and I said that I had learned so much lately (for example all details  present simple / present continuous). The boy's mom said: "Isn't it good that you have a high school pupil in your life, you will learn so much in the next three years with him."

Yes, it is good to have him in my life. I know it is only for now (or for the next few years). But it feels good anyway.

Have you ever watched the movie Intern with Robert de Niro? It is an easy comedy. I liked it a lot.
Robert de Niro found a new job too. Not because he needed money when retired. But because he wanted to be connected. Needed. Appreciated. Cherished for who he is.

Pathetic?

Not many families with kids visit my husband and me. Or to write it differently, we don't get many visitors at all.

Friends from Austria, who have a young daughter, visited us last week. I know that the girl was already bored a bit in the past (I don't blame her, it is boring to sit all evening with 4 adults. Also cartoons and colouring get boring after a while).

I got an idea that it would be fun to borrow a kid.
I asked my sister-in-law if I could have my niece (who loves me) for couple of hours. My wish was declined, as usually. It hurt for the first few years, now I am just used to it.
So I asked my cousin (who feels like my sister) if I could have her daughter for the evening. My cousin was thrilled for her child to be exposed to German and English for the whole evening. So I asked the little one (she is 6 and a half) if she would love to meet a new girl from Austria. She said yes (only later on I found out that she understood me that I was inviting her for a trip to Austria, that's why she needed 5 seconds to confirm :)

It was a lovely evening. It was nice to have two girls at our home.

The evening itself was lovely. But then, out of the blue, came the comment of my friend: "What do the people of that town do besides working, going to library and making babies?"

Such a silly choice of words. (Phrase Making babies brings back many sad memories, that include many needles, many suffering, many disappointment).

I didn't let this comment to spoil my good mood.

I know that to outside word this might seem pathetic, borrowing someone else's kid.
I don't care. I just know I really enjoy being cool and fun auntie to a lovely smart girl. Who was thrilled that she learnt some completely new German words. Like "Danke".

I wish I were healthy

I wish I could sleep. It is midnight and I can not sleep.
Asthma causes reflux. Reflux causes bad coughing.
The only thing that it helps right now is sitting.  As soon as I lay down I think I might just die since I cough so much.
I already had my first gastroscopy, it wasn't as bad as I feared.
I have been taking drugs for the last few days, but it is not getting better.
I hope I will be able to see my doctor tomorrow (hopefully she isn't booked out yet).

I started to write this blog about infertility. But right now, I couldn't care less about it.
All I wish is to have healthy lungs and healthy stomach.

There isn't any Auntie Song

I was doing very well in the last month. Until today I had no need to write anything on my blog. Furthermore, I didn't even know what to write. Since my life was really good, busy. The highlight was being with my dog. Enjoying warm spring weather. Cycling a bit.

And teaching the kids. I wrote already about teaching Daisy and her sister, I have been teaching them already for 11 months. Since then, some other mothers called me and now I teach 7 kids (from 4 families).

I know that those kids are part of my life only for this school year. Some perhaps also for the next. And this will be all. In a way I already came to conclusion how fragile and short our lives are.  I just treasure the moments that I have with them.

It is fun. So many exciting things happen when I am with them.
One of the kids had a test with question: Where do kangaroos live? And she (aged 10) responded: Austria :)
I was in supermarket the other day when my youngest pupil (aged 6 and a half) noticed me and ran towards me and hugged me (well, she hugged my left leg). It was bitter sweet and lovely. The girl was with her granny and the granny started to explaining me how much the little one enjoys learning English with me.

I never boast. But I really am good with kids.
I know how to motivate them. And I know how to make them fall inlove with English.

Now the dark day. It is Mother's Day in our part of Europe. I wasn't paying much attention this year (luckily it is in the same period as Easter, and Easter is still bigger selling tool, so everything was in Easter decorations all around).

I visited my parents after work and there was also my youngest niece, aged 4. My mother encouraged  the little one to sing me the song that she learnt in the kindergarten for her mommy. The little one asked me: "Do you want to hear the song?".
My brains were working fast to find a good solution since I really didn't want to hear a mommy song even if coming from the mouth of innocent child, who wants me no harm.
I just couldn't say yes, I just couldn't.
So I said: "I don't want to hear that song. But I would love to hear the song for aunties." And the niece responded that there wasn't any auntie song.
Obviously my mom realized it was a silly idea forcing her infertile daughter hearing a special mommy song. So she really tried to solve situation. She explained to child: "It is easy. Whenever there in the song is a word mommy, you just say auntie."
The little one started singing, but when she came to the word mommy, she stopped (before saying the word). She tried to replace it with auntie, but it was too difficult. So she concluded: "There isn't any auntie song." And I said "It doesn't matter, then you don't have to sing." And she didn't.

So, just to see, how messed up am I. I can't even pretend in front of a little child.  But none the less, I feel good.   I didn't have to listen and pretend that I like the damn mommy song. 

(don't worry, the little one's feelings were not hurt, afterwards we played some cute silly game together).

*******
If you never wrote your own blog, then there is one thing that you might not know. For a blogger it is always interesting to see the countries of the readers. Lately I had quite some visits from Japan. I find it always fascinating, when somebody from another part of the world is reading my lines. As always, I wonder who you are and what is your story.