I survived

I survived Niagara falls being blue.
I survived the royal infant being born.
It was quite easy. I just did not watch any TV news, didn't read any site with news.

***
Things that helped:
- swimming whole day in one of the most beautiful lakes yesterday: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Bohinj 
- cycling today after work

Auntie

I have always lived under false impression that I look young. Well, I might be looking young for 40-year-old woman, but I am not looking young.

When cycling two days ago I met in the middle of beautiful nature, on a small pedestrian bridge, a group of young people (in the middle of their 20s). They were having great fun taking photos.  I could see from the distance that they were happy to see another person that would be able to take photos of all of them together).

When I was passing by, one of them greeted me and asked: "Auntie, could you take the photos of us, please?"

I always take photos, whenever asked. Just not this time.

I responded: "Auntie does not take photos." And went away. 

Felt good about being unkind :)

Srebrenica

I am always sad on 11th of July.  

Today is the 18th anniversary since the Srebrenica genocide happened. In July 1995 more than 8,000 Bosniaks (Bosnian Muslims) were murdered. The mass murder was described by the Secretary-General of the United Nations as the worst crime on European soil since the Second World War. 

Today on BBC: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-23267348

Srebrenica lies exactly 570 kilometers (354 miles) from my home town.  It is so close!

***
Sometimes, on a sad day as today, I am glad I don't have children of my own. 
(the entire region has peace now. It can last for a decade or two or more. But I am sure there will be wars again. I just hope that not in my lifetime.)

Having a job

I have been very busy at my job lately. Which is good.   So many meetings. So many things to organize and do.

Which made me think, how lucky am I to live in central Europe. Where it is a norm that almost every woman has a job.

How sad it is to live in traditional societies where the only role that a woman can have is being a mother. Which is absolutely fine for women with children. But - how do childless women fit in there?

I am off to work :)

Summer

If it was winter, those two conversations would put me in really bad mood.

Yesterday I went to wellness center, to have a pedicure (a luxury that I afford twice a summer). The lady who was making a pedicure was very chatty (I am not). She was chatting about her holidays plans and then out of blue she asked: "Do you have any little babies?".  I just responded "No." and continued to read a magazine.

Some days ago a coworker from another department returned from 10-day-holidays. I asked her if she had good holidays (she was very stressed out before going). And her answer was: "You know how it is with two kids. I am even more tired as before."   I didn't answer anything, I got to the work part. But what I really wanted to do was scream: "No, I don't know how it is to have two kids!!!"

***
But it is beautiful warm sunny summer so things like that put me in a bad mood for ten minutes and then I am OK. 

There are so many beautiful things that I did in the last 7 days:
- 3 cycling tours (one including an elevation of 450 meters). Feeling great after cycling!
- picking up blueberries in the forest
- spending lots of time with beloved Wolf
- picking up my very first peas and cooking delicious pea-risotto

no thanks i will rather stay childfree

Somebody put today in google search:
no thanks i will rather stay childfree

And found my blog.

(I was told this info by statistics)

It really made me smile.

Really cool search :)

Have a beautiful day!

Bittersweet

There are many children in my life that I love. But my top favourite was always my cousin's almost 4 years old daughter. She is the sweetest child I have ever seen (as sweet as was her mum. My cousin is 6 years younger, she always felt like a sister - since we lived all our childhood together, in the same house). 

My cousin needed babysitting for yesterday afternoon, so I volunteered.  

I asked my friend Mattie whether I can come with my niece to play with her children. Of course we were welcomed (Mattie's 5-year-old daughter was so excited over a new friend coming to her house). We came, there were already also two neighbours' kids, so there were all together 5 children aged 4 to 7. It was so vivid! And a great fun. My niece and Mattie's daughter got along perfectly.

Then we went to our apartment, to eat a muffin, draw a picture, play on the swings outside. When the evening came, I wanted to take her home, but she refused. She said she wanted to stay overnight with me. 

(I explained she can, when she is bigger. She asked how much bigger she has to be. I answered that when she is 7. Then I had to show her how many 7 fingers are :)

It was lovely and precious to have my niece (I know she is not really my niece, but she feels like) for three hours. 

But also bittersweet. To experience sweet moments that mothers can experience every day. And my infertility robbed me of them.