Bittersweet

There are many children in my life that I love. But my top favourite was always my cousin's almost 4 years old daughter. She is the sweetest child I have ever seen (as sweet as was her mum. My cousin is 6 years younger, she always felt like a sister - since we lived all our childhood together, in the same house). 

My cousin needed babysitting for yesterday afternoon, so I volunteered.  

I asked my friend Mattie whether I can come with my niece to play with her children. Of course we were welcomed (Mattie's 5-year-old daughter was so excited over a new friend coming to her house). We came, there were already also two neighbours' kids, so there were all together 5 children aged 4 to 7. It was so vivid! And a great fun. My niece and Mattie's daughter got along perfectly.

Then we went to our apartment, to eat a muffin, draw a picture, play on the swings outside. When the evening came, I wanted to take her home, but she refused. She said she wanted to stay overnight with me. 

(I explained she can, when she is bigger. She asked how much bigger she has to be. I answered that when she is 7. Then I had to show her how many 7 fingers are :)

It was lovely and precious to have my niece (I know she is not really my niece, but she feels like) for three hours. 

But also bittersweet. To experience sweet moments that mothers can experience every day. And my infertility robbed me of them.