I have always known that I will get to the menopause early, since my mom entered it when 42. But still, when it happens, it just sucks. I have been mildly depressed for the last ten days.
My period was never late. Not even one single time in 29 years, until last month, when was 7 days late. And this month it is already 14 days late. Perhaps gone, for good.
I started to read some articles to learn something new about the theme, but I just can't. Whenever I start reading, the entrance sentences include something like this "the fertile years are now over". This makes me to want to scream - which fertile years??? And I just stop reading.
I feel vulnerable. And old. Aging just sucks.
(and then I think of my beloved friend Maria, who died when 37. She would give anything to get old. And so would her mom and husband. I miss her.)
((((((((((HUGS))))))))))
ReplyDeleteI hear you, sister. As much as I knew, mentally, the door was closed for me it was still hard to see the actually reality play out with biological change. I will find a blog post on this...but I also want to tell you how fabulous it is to be liberated...! xx
ReplyDeleteI looked at it differently. I remember at the end of my attempts to have a child, I appreciated having a regular cycle and being the same as other women my age, the large majority of whom were not trying to have children either. Going through peri-menopause too - as horrible and gory as the more recent years were - was simply part of being a woman. I loved it when I started being late too - that monthly inconvenience was being scarce. Still, I doubt it's "gone for good" just yet.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Pamela. The liberation is marvellous! I actually feel younger now (in many ways) than when I was going through everything a few years ago.
The Barreness wrote this beautiful line at the end of a post the other day -
"The aches and pains of reality as we are given this gift of aging." I loved that.
Here's her post - http://the-barreness.blogspot.co.nz/2015/05/aches-and-pains.html
I feel like the radiation treatment I went through at the end of December has possible thrown me into early menopause at 38. Ick. Moody.
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