I meet up with colleague from university & ex-coworker 4 times a year. It is our tradition - we always go for a coffee and cakes. Usually we have great time together - talking about life, work, politics, world, everything.
But yesterday she was totally focused on her two daughters (aged 7 and 13). I felt so empty after our date. And angry at myself. It is hard to listen for three hours about somebody else children.
OMG...three hours. I personally couldn't take that. I don't have many close friends with kids (thankfully), but I will be meeting up with one in the week who is a "now" single parent of an 8 year old daughter and you can be sure the conversation will not (by my own will) be all about the child. I made a decision once I accepted the fact that we will be childless that I won't surround myself with people who are totally obessed with their child(ren) and I won't put myself "thru hell" (which in my mind I have already been thru) listening to them talk continuously about them either. Sorry you had to go through this yesterday, so sad that your friend didn't recognize what she was doing and how that might make you feel. Big hugs!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend who makes me feel this way - but not all the time. So I am always torn when I am about to see her - will it be one of those times when we talk about all sorts of things and have a good time and both feel heard? Or will it be one of the times when I feel I'm only there to listen to her complaints?
ReplyDeleteIt's hard. So sending hugs. And I hope it was the exception, not the norm.
dear J & dear Mali,
ReplyDeletethank you for your comments.
Yes, dates where I have to listen about kids are more exception than the norm.
I am actually careful with whom I go out with for a coffee.