Here it is, a promise: this is the last time that I mention adoption on my blog.
It was never a question whether to adopt or not for me & my DH. We are both absolutely sure, that living childless is the only option for us, if we want to find our happiness again.
But it bothers me - people that I know, asking why we don't just adopt. Such a rude and hurtful question.
Today I read a sad story about parents who lost two sons. So sad, I feel sorry for them.
I guess nobody would be rude enough to advise them to adopt. This comment would be extremely mean, everybody knows that.
But why do not people understand, that it is not OK to ask me, why I don't adopt? I am not OK with this question and I will never be.
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Spring is coming, sun will be there during the weekend. I am looking forward to it! It is high time for spring sun & jogging & positive thinking.
Klara, you can mention adoption (or rather, the intrusive questions about adoption) any time you feel the need to. It's your blog, say what you want!
ReplyDeleteAhhh spring. Just as we've had two days of cooler temperatures, reminding me that autumn is just around the corner.
When my husband and I decided to end infertility treatment after no success - it was painful but it was also a relief. It felt good to start the process of accepting and living a full life again. It was not the life we envisioned... but it could still be a great life.
DeleteWe did end up adopting a sibling group of 3.. but it does not take away the pain. We love our children - it is still a tough journey. I think no matter which road you take in life there are ups and downs. There is no "cure" for life :)
We're of an age now that the question doesn't come to us any longer. That said, I've also come to appreciate that the question comes from ignorance about the reality of the losses we experienced.
ReplyDeleteI would hazard a guess that if the offending parties truly understood how and why the (usually casual) recommendation/question stirs up such pain (how could it not when they are overtly ignoring the hole in our hearts), they wouldn't ask or suggest it.