I don't have children, but that doesn't mean I don't have a private life

 

I am sharing with you a photo of a beautiful ornament in one of the chapels I visited during the Christmas season. I find this mosaic simply beautiful: peaceful, colourful, vivid, soothing and eternal.  I needed to see this photo again - because today's workday was just awful.

Most of the time I like the place where I work. But not today.

I had a disagreement with my superior about doing extra work outside of working hours. She (the mother of an adult son) literally said to me: "We, who already have grown-up children, have to be flexible with our time, so working on public holidays shouldn't be a problem for us".

Her manipulative, insulting comment really got to me. I've been part of her team for over a decade and she knows full well that I don't have children.

I didn't keep quiet.

I said: "I don't have children, but that doesn't mean I don't have a private life."

***

I felt good because I spoke out - also on behalf of childless people whose suffering is still too raw and who never speak up (yet).

I am not paid more than colleagues with children. So it is only fair that everyone does the same amount of work.

My Christmas wish

 

I have the same Christmas wish as the last nine years. 

I would like to receive an email from you. 

To know who you are. 

Where you come from. 

Why you read my blog. 

What my blog means to you. 

Has it helped you in any way?

 I promise not to publish your email or misuse it in any way. 

And I promise to write back!

 My email: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com 

I am looking forward to Christmas :)

 

PS: on the photo:  Piran & Christmas lights

Notre Dame

 

The photo was taken just a few weeks ago on my business trip.  

I have been visiting Paris at least once a year for the past five years. I feel privileged to have been able to follow the restoration process and I am very happy that it is now complete.

To see world jewels like Notre Dame is simply priceless!

All the unrecognised losses

I went on a teambuilding & New Year's party with colleagues.

One of the highlights was a visit to the beautiful seaside town of Piran. The company organised a short concert for us.

The classical music was nice. I was listening to the music when suddenly I was overcome by sadness. There was something about the artist that reminded me so much of my beloved nephew who had died. All the sadness that I thought I had left behind just came back. Just because of this perfect music in the perfect place.

On the outside - I hadn't lost anything. He wasn't even my nephew, he was my husband's nephew.

But I had lost so much. I had loved this boy since the day I met him.
***
It made me think of all the other unrecognised losses.

And in spite of all these losses, I want to live. And when it is hard, I just take it one day at a time.  

 

 

Riva del Garda, Lake Garda

 

I am sharing a beautiful photo from my recent work trip. The north of Lake Garda is breathtakingly beautiful! 

This is one of the silver linings of being childless. I always have time for a new business trip whenever there is an opportunity to attend something. I never say no :)

 

Just the Two of Us

 

I love long walks in nature so much!

Yesterday we went for a long hike in the Triglav National Park, we walked around the beautiful alpine lake Bohinj.

Can you see the shadows of me & my husband on the photo <3?

I took the photo from the bridge, which is very close to where the Savica stream flows into Lake Bohinj.

Colourful life

 

There are so many things I want to write.

First, the unpleasant.

I knew that a colleague of mine (a mother of three teenagers) was going through breast cancer treatment, so I called her to wish her well.  One of the things she told me was that she had a regular annual check-up with her gynaecologist and she was told that her womb looked like a woman 15 years younger and that she could easily have one or two more children.

She knows about my infertility, all the failed IVFs and all the suffering.  Only a mean person could say that to a childless woman. I am so fed up with her. I feel sorry regarding her cancer, but I won't phone her again.

*****

A lovely story.

I had a nice day at work with my colleagues. We were working hard, but we took a few minutes off to get some fresh air and talk about the things we do in our spare time.

One of the colleagues (a mother of two teenage daughters) said out loud: "I would like to be like Klara. She doesn't wait for anyone - she just does things and knows how to actively enjoy her free time".

I loved her for her kind comment.

It is very true. My husband works much harder and longer hours - so I do things (like going for a long walk or cycling alone).

I returned her kind comment and said: "And I would love to be just like you - a mother of two beautiful, kind girls".  

I didn't feel blue afterwards.

I love my life.  And being childless - well, it is just part of my life.

*****

A photo above: was taken yesterday, I took my cousin's daughter for a 1-day road trip. We visited many beautiful places, the highlight being Grado, Italy. The trip was my gift for her confirmation. It was just priceless to spend a day with her. I am very glad that she accepted my gift!