First, the unpleasant.
I knew that a colleague of mine (a mother of three teenagers) was going through breast cancer treatment, so I called her to wish her well. One of the things she told me was that she had a regular annual check-up with her gynaecologist and she was told that her womb looked like a woman 15 years younger and that she could easily have one or two more children.
She knows about my infertility, all the failed IVFs and all the suffering. Only a mean person could say that to a childless woman. I am so fed up with her. I feel sorry regarding her cancer, but I won't phone her again.
*****
A lovely story.
I had a nice day at work with my colleagues. We were working hard, but we took a few minutes off to get some fresh air and talk about the things we do in our spare time.
One of the colleagues (a mother of two teenage daughters) said out loud: "I would like to be like Klara. She doesn't wait for anyone - she just does things and knows how to actively enjoy her free time".
I loved her for her kind comment.
It is very true. My husband works much harder and longer hours - so I do things (like going for a long walk or cycling alone).
I returned her kind comment and said: "And I would love to be just like you - a mother of two beautiful, kind girls".
I didn't feel blue afterwards.
I love my life. And being childless - well, it is just part of my life.
*****
A photo above: was taken yesterday, I took my cousin's daughter for a 1-day road trip. We visited many beautiful places, the highlight being Grado, Italy. The trip was my gift for her confirmation. It was just priceless to spend a day with her. I am very glad that she accepted my gift!
I can’t believe someone would say that! Unless she was so worried about her cancer that she was trying to feel good about herself. But it wasn’t a nice thing for her to do. So I love your other colleague for accepting that your life is normal. Because it is!
ReplyDeleteI love the way you spend time with the children of your family. How lucky those children are to have you!
I'm glad you told the second person that you would love to be like her. Sometimes parents need reminding that we would love to have what they have. (As for the first one... grrrrr.....!!)
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that someone said that they wanted to be like you! Unfortunately so many times in those situations moms are like, "Must be nice to have that free time" or "you must not have children then" -- which are real comments people have said to me in those situations. I loved the honest back and forth with you and the woman with children, without pain. And oy. The uterus comment. :(
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you received such a mean comment. I know someone who knows about my failed IVFs and she always talks like this to me. It's hurtful and it's also very weird. I don't understand why someone would want to be so mean.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, we have other people in our lives. Kind co-workers who see our strengths and point them out. Loved ones to enjoy day-long adventures with.
Very cool picture. Thank you for sharing! I've never been to Italy.