When my brother's and my cousins' children were born my heart was broken each single time. Especially when the first three were born - I was so sad that I had to gather all the strength that I could so that when I went for the first visit I could pretend how happy I was. It was incredibly hard to hold the babies for the first (and second and third...) time. And the hardest part was hiding my sadness from my parents and other family. I didn't want them to worry about me.
The darkest years of my infertility have been over for the past few years. And I can honestly say that I am doing better each year.
A small proof of my recovery is this story:
I took 5 nephews & nieces (aged from 3 to 9) for a train ride last week, we visited an event that is meant for families with children. The event included lots of sweets and lots of fun activities.
When we were on the train, the controller of the tickets came to us and he was so surprised that he didn't even greet. He asked: "You ma'am have five children!!??".
I replied that I didn't have any children, that I just borrowed those five.
He said: "It is all right, have a pleasant trip."
I was confused and I said that I wanted to buy the tickets.
And the controller said: "It is all right, you are the guests of our railways."
It was so funny! Only then I realized that he thought that I was joking. And he didn't want to take money from single mom with five kids :)
All children (except 7-year-old rebellious niece) were picture perfect. They had lots of fun.
Needless to say I was exhausted after having them for 5 hours. I was very glad to return them safely to their parents.
But overall, I am very happy that I organized this special day for us. Since I really want to be an auntie who does fun things with them. I don't want to be the auntie who buys expensive presents.
Haha, this is so funny, Klara! I like that story :-).ReplyDelete
I'm glad to hear you have come to the place where you can enjoy being amazing auntie. I wish I had nieces and nephews, sounds like you all had lots of fun!ReplyDelete
That's generous of the rail company! I'd love to have more nieces and nephews, I just have one. I don't feel very attached to my cousin's kids. I'm waiting for my niece to have kids so I can be a kind of gran to them, although I'd never tell anyone that since I'm always complaining about how awful those women who wait for grandchildren are... I think unfortunately I'm more like the auntie who buys expensive presents, these days - we're in different countries and she's nearly 18, so we're a bit distant physically and it makes me sad. So glad you had fun with your lotReplyDelete
WOW! You went with five kids in tow? Can imagine that it must've been exhausting. LOL! Funny that he thought you were joking, but glad to know you could do fun things with them. :-)ReplyDelete
That's lovely! It's cool too that you do fun things with the kids. I also think you're very brave taking five children out for the day!ReplyDelete
My adult nieces have talked about the fun things we did with them when they were little, not the presents we bought them. It's a bit harder now, with so many of the younger ones overseas or a long way away, and so we do have to be the ones who send gifts. Still, my littlest niece remembered that when we visit, we play soccer on their lawn (though last time she caused DH to pull his hamstring trying a fancy move!). It's never the money, it's always about showing we care, whether it's a gift that we know they'll like, or the gift of time and attention.