Thursday, November 24, 2016

Unfortunately not

I went out for a drink after business event with 10 colleagues from other companies. We were chatting, drinking beer, laughing. In the meantime I had time to talk to a colleague sitting closest to me. I didn't know him well before. I learnt that his first child will be born in January. He was so proud and happy when he was talking about it.

I think it was the first time ever that the news like that didn't hurt. Perhaps it is because I am at that age that I don't long for having a baby. I long for a teenage child of my own. I still daydream sometimes what would be our life like if I could have a child easily - our first child would be already 12 now!

The colleague started to describe their awesome honeymoon so I described ours, 13 years ago, 10,000 kilometers made with Northern American Rail Pass, across Canada & USA.

He asked: "So, you have been married for 13 years?".
Me: "Yes."
He: "Do you have any children?"
Me: "Unfortunately not."

His eyes widened, in a second he grasped the meaning of my answer and he softly switched the conversation to a safe neutral topic. I was really thankful for that. Not many people have intelligence and kindness to do this as gently as this colleague did.

I wish him and his family all the best for the future.

Here is a photo of Lake Maligne, Jasper National Park. My husband and I loved it here so much, it is breathtaking beautiful:


  1. It's nice that it didn't hurt. I also don't care much about babies, but I do feel disgruntled and strange when people talk about their older children - teenagers/adults. And gush about grandchildren. Ugh. That's much more poignant for me (even though I'm not of granny age... just thinking about the future, I suppose).

    1. thank you for your comment! I also hate it when people gush about grandchildren. I am also not of granny age (yet)... and I guess that it bothers me since I know it will hurt a lot in a decade or two.

  2. I love it when people get it without much explanation.

    I also have a hard time with certain age groups of kids. Right now it's three year olds because that's how old our child would be had we conceived when we started trying. I don't really want a baby anymore (I don't think I do anyway, I go back and forth, which is kind of a waste of my energy), but I do long for a toddler. And in a decade I know I will long for a teenager as well.

  3. I love this. I love that it didn't hurt for you, I love that he "got it" so quickly, and I love that you got to talk about your amazing honeymoon.

    That photo in Jasper is just gorgeous. It's been on our list of places to go since 1989! One day we might get there!

  4. I am glad that you felt okay even though he asked that question. It is lovely that for once, you talked to a empathetic person who did just the right thing!

    Your picture makes me want to go back to Canada :-). So beautiful!

  5. It's so nice when somebody grasps it without much explanation. I'm glad it wasn't painful for you.

  6. We live for those moments when people show us such kindness, don't we??

    My dh & I spent part of our honeymoon in Jasper. :) (Also Banff & Calgary.) It is gorgeous, isn't it? And it's been way too long since we've been there...!

    1. yes, it is gorgeous! So glad that you also spent a part of the honeymoon there!

  7. Wow, nice that he caught on so quickly.
    “Unfortunately Not” is my standard reply when the question is asked. The topic usually gets changed unless it’s a sensitive person that I may feel like sharing a few more pieces of our story with.