I am a 40-something European woman doing what I once thought wasn't possible: finding happiness after infertility. While it's been a long, difficult and emotional journey (10 unsuccessful IVF treatments), each day I take another step down the path toward a fulfilling new life. This is my story of reinvention. I will be happy to hear from you: klara.soncek (@ ) gmail.com
Friday, August 5, 2016
Two curious little girls
I have just returned from beautiful holidays at the seaside with my cousin and her two kids aged 7 and 4. It was lovely to do many fun things with the kids, sometimes were just the tree of us. But at the same time, it was also a bit sad, experiencing something so beautiful and knowing, it will never be a part of my life except few days per year.
One day, the seven-year-old niece was in my bedroom and I was reading a story. She asked me, out of the blue: "You never had any children?"
I replied that never.
She asked me "How come?"
What can you answer to a kid? I replied that God didn't give any children to us.
She said (=her mom recently explained her rough version of how babies come to world): "So an egg and a sperm didn't meet?".
I replied "No".
Her eyes sparkled since she found the solution "I know. Your husband and you aren't really married. That's why an egg and a sperm didn't meet."
I laughed, it was so funny. I explained that we have been married, for 13 years.
She said: "That's a long time!"
She concluded: "But then if you are married, it is really strange that an egg and a sperm didn't meet."
I agreed that it was strange indeed.
Few days later I had a similair discussion with a 9-year-old girl. She is my cousin's friend's child and since one of her parents doesn't like to swim and the other was busy minding younger children, she had nobody to swim with. She noticed that I am swimming all the time and she asked me if she may join me. I would never say no to a child, especially when such a kind request is very seldom. The girl just loved swimming with me and so did I.
After a while she asked: "Klara, do you have any children?"
I replied "No."
She said: "But why you don't have children? You didn't want to have children?".
I didn't want to have this conversation. But I couldn't reply nothing.
I said: "Well, God didn't give me any children".
She thought for a second and then said: "So, you wished to have children and you couldn't?"
She concluded: "It is a pity!"
I agreed that it was a pity indeed.
The two conversations didn't make me sad.
I felt rich, having company of two lovely girls for few days.
And I feel that I made the girls' lives richer. Just by talking to them, not ignoring their questions and being kind to them.
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I think that these two conversations are so important and I'm so glad that you shared with them. I love that these girls got to see a strong, positive role model. I hope that infertility never happens to them, but if it does, at least they will have a living, breathing example of how you can go on to live a great life even when things don't work out as planned.ReplyDelete
I loved these conversations. I'm so glad they didn't make you sad. Young children can be so honest, and you know there's no judgement, just pure emotion.ReplyDelete
I'm jealous of the idea of you swimming in the Adriatic though. Today it's freezing cold and raining. Brrr. A far cry from the August we enjoyed three years ago!
Dear Klara, well done! I am so happy that the curiosity of these girls did not make you sad, and that you were able to give them a good answer.ReplyDelete