Thursday, May 12, 2016


I recently got an invitation from my cousin to attend her son's 4th birthday party. And some months ago I got an invitation to her daughter's 6th birthday party. I didn't go. I never did. Which means that there were already 8 kids parties that I skipped. I just couldn't attend. It is too hurtful to be in a room together with 10 other couples that all have kids. Except us.  

My cousin knows I will not attend. What I love about her is that she still invites. She doesn't delete me from her invitations guest lists as majority of other people.

I don't want to be an aunt who buys expensive gifts. I want to be an aunt who invites for adventure days. On Saturday, I invited the boy for a train ride to our capital. As soon as his sister heard about the invitation she wanted to join as well... so I invited her as well.

It was a lovely morning. We went for a walk. Visited a beautiful church. Attended kids' workshop outside. Went for an ice cream. Went to an awesome park for kids.

I took plenty of photos. Since my new plan is that for each niece & nephew I will make for his /her next  birthday a  special photo book, with photos that include moments with me.

Perhaps these future  4 photos books are my way of preventing fading memories.

I loved the quote I read today: 
I have no children. No grandchildren. I have many sweet relatives, but the memory of my life will fade for them quickly. I love them and they love me, but I am on the periphery of their lives. Children make your life important. But I have none.  
From a beautiful post The meaning of life:


  1. Memories are so much better than stuff!

    I understand about the parties. It hurts not to get invited but it hurts more to attend.

  2. It's still nice to be asked, isn't it? And I love the blog you quoted from too. :)

  3. I love the photobook idea! I'm planning one day to put together all my "What Charlie taught me" posts and give to her in a book.

    I don't know about the quote though. I disagree with it quite strongly. We never know the impact we might have on the people we know. And we're not so easily forgotten. I've spent time recently talking to my great-nephew about his great great great uncle, who died in Egypt in WWII. He died without children, but he's always remembered.

  4. "an aunt who invites for adventure days." That's how I want to be! So glad you had a special new adventure to share...

  5. I love how considerate your cousin is, continuing to extend the invitation. It’s nice to feel included in family gatherings regardless of whether you attend or not.

    I love your idea about creating a photo book of their experiences with you – a lovely way for them to remember your adventures together.
    My favourite memories of my aunts and uncles are the times spent in their company.

    The quote really made me stop and think. For myself, it resonates strongly and I agree with it.
    Yet, I’ve had two occasions in the last several months, where, despite being on the outer edge of the family, the impact I have had, has caught me by surprise. Looking back over at the rare occasions I spent together with these young adults, what I most often gave them was my time.

  6. Agree, thumbs up for your considerate cousin. And the photobook is such a lovely idea. I also agree with what Mali said in terms of our impact on other people's lives. We'll never know for sure, but that doesn't really matter at the end of the day, because it matters more for the people whose lives are affected.