I wish I could sleep. It is midnight and I can not sleep.
Asthma causes reflux. Reflux causes bad coughing.
The only thing that it helps right now is sitting. As soon as I lay down I think I might just die since I cough so much.
I already had my first gastroscopy, it wasn't as bad as I feared.
I have been taking drugs for the last few days, but it is not getting better.
I hope I will be able to see my doctor tomorrow (hopefully she isn't booked out yet).
I started to write this blog about infertility. But right now, I couldn't care less about it.
All I wish is to have healthy lungs and healthy stomach.
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Friday, March 25, 2016
There isn't any Auntie Song
I was doing very well in the last month. Until today I had no need to write anything on my blog. Furthermore, I didn't even know what to write. Since my life was really good, busy. The highlight was being with my dog. Enjoying warm spring weather. Cycling a bit.
And teaching the kids. I wrote already about teaching Daisy and her sister, I have been teaching them already for 11 months. Since then, some other mothers called me and now I teach 7 kids (from 4 families).
I know that those kids are part of my life only for this school year. Some perhaps also for the next. And this will be all. In a way I already came to conclusion how fragile and short our lives are. I just treasure the moments that I have with them.
It is fun. So many exciting things happen when I am with them.
One of the kids had a test with question: Where do kangaroos live? And she (aged 10) responded: Austria :)
I was in supermarket the other day when my youngest pupil (aged 6 and a half) noticed me and ran towards me and hugged me (well, she hugged my left leg). It was bitter sweet and lovely. The girl was with her granny and the granny started to explaining me how much the little one enjoys learning English with me.
I never boast. But I really am good with kids.
I know how to motivate them. And I know how to make them fall inlove with English.
Now the dark day. It is Mother's Day in our part of Europe. I wasn't paying much attention this year (luckily it is in the same period as Easter, and Easter is still bigger selling tool, so everything was in Easter decorations all around).
I visited my parents after work and there was also my youngest niece, aged 4. My mother encouraged the little one to sing me the song that she learnt in the kindergarten for her mommy. The little one asked me: "Do you want to hear the song?".
My brains were working fast to find a good solution since I really didn't want to hear a mommy song even if coming from the mouth of innocent child, who wants me no harm.
I just couldn't say yes, I just couldn't.
So I said: "I don't want to hear that song. But I would love to hear the song for aunties." And the niece responded that there wasn't any auntie song.
Obviously my mom realized it was a silly idea forcing her infertile daughter hearing a special mommy song. So she really tried to solve situation. She explained to child: "It is easy. Whenever there in the song is a word mommy, you just say auntie."
The little one started singing, but when she came to the word mommy, she stopped (before saying the word). She tried to replace it with auntie, but it was too difficult. So she concluded: "There isn't any auntie song." And I said "It doesn't matter, then you don't have to sing." And she didn't.
So, just to see, how messed up am I. I can't even pretend in front of a little child. But none the less, I feel good. I didn't have to listen and pretend that I like the damn mommy song.
(don't worry, the little one's feelings were not hurt, afterwards we played some cute silly game together).
*******
If you never wrote your own blog, then there is one thing that you might not know. For a blogger it is always interesting to see the countries of the readers. Lately I had quite some visits from Japan. I find it always fascinating, when somebody from another part of the world is reading my lines. As always, I wonder who you are and what is your story.
And teaching the kids. I wrote already about teaching Daisy and her sister, I have been teaching them already for 11 months. Since then, some other mothers called me and now I teach 7 kids (from 4 families).
I know that those kids are part of my life only for this school year. Some perhaps also for the next. And this will be all. In a way I already came to conclusion how fragile and short our lives are. I just treasure the moments that I have with them.
It is fun. So many exciting things happen when I am with them.
One of the kids had a test with question: Where do kangaroos live? And she (aged 10) responded: Austria :)
I was in supermarket the other day when my youngest pupil (aged 6 and a half) noticed me and ran towards me and hugged me (well, she hugged my left leg). It was bitter sweet and lovely. The girl was with her granny and the granny started to explaining me how much the little one enjoys learning English with me.
I never boast. But I really am good with kids.
I know how to motivate them. And I know how to make them fall inlove with English.
Now the dark day. It is Mother's Day in our part of Europe. I wasn't paying much attention this year (luckily it is in the same period as Easter, and Easter is still bigger selling tool, so everything was in Easter decorations all around).
I visited my parents after work and there was also my youngest niece, aged 4. My mother encouraged the little one to sing me the song that she learnt in the kindergarten for her mommy. The little one asked me: "Do you want to hear the song?".
My brains were working fast to find a good solution since I really didn't want to hear a mommy song even if coming from the mouth of innocent child, who wants me no harm.
I just couldn't say yes, I just couldn't.
So I said: "I don't want to hear that song. But I would love to hear the song for aunties." And the niece responded that there wasn't any auntie song.
Obviously my mom realized it was a silly idea forcing her infertile daughter hearing a special mommy song. So she really tried to solve situation. She explained to child: "It is easy. Whenever there in the song is a word mommy, you just say auntie."
The little one started singing, but when she came to the word mommy, she stopped (before saying the word). She tried to replace it with auntie, but it was too difficult. So she concluded: "There isn't any auntie song." And I said "It doesn't matter, then you don't have to sing." And she didn't.
So, just to see, how messed up am I. I can't even pretend in front of a little child. But none the less, I feel good. I didn't have to listen and pretend that I like the damn mommy song.
(don't worry, the little one's feelings were not hurt, afterwards we played some cute silly game together).
*******
If you never wrote your own blog, then there is one thing that you might not know. For a blogger it is always interesting to see the countries of the readers. Lately I had quite some visits from Japan. I find it always fascinating, when somebody from another part of the world is reading my lines. As always, I wonder who you are and what is your story.
Sunday, March 13, 2016
Wolfie & the Capital
We visited our capital with Wolfie for the first time. It was lovely.
And now? It is House of Cards, season 4 time :)
And now? It is House of Cards, season 4 time :)
I am back
In the last two weeks I spent most of the time working in Italy. I am attaching photo of one of my favourite Italian deserts, panna cotta con frutti di bosco. It was delicious.
And after coming back from two consecutive business trips to Italy, my life was just fully booked with walking my dog, the kids that I teach English/German, extra office work. It actually feels good. Not having the time for thinking, reading nor writing about infertility.
Wishing you all a beautiful Sunday. Mine will be beautiful, I am just off for a whole-day walk with Wolfie.
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