Tuesday, December 8, 2015


Today it is one of those dark days that come when at least expected. I feel that I don't really live my life. All I do is ticking of tasks from my long to-do-list at work and from my to-do-list at home.

When did I have the last unplanned day, just for myself? Can't remember.

I guess happy-get-together with business partners did not help. I met a really nice colleague that I haven't seen for ages. We had two IVFs at the same time.  I knew that her first was unsucessful. But I didn't know if her second worked out or not, since she changed work and I never met her again.

I met her again today.  She has twins, aged 7. And soon after the twins were born, she got a surprise baby.

She is a nice girl, I am happy for her.
But at the same time I feel sad for myself.
I know. I am over 40. I should get over it. Most of the time I am doing pretty well. Just not today.


  1. Ouch. It's so hard when these unexpected things kick you in the teeth. Sending big hugs your way! I think you should take a day or two off sometime soon and do whatever you want to do! :)

  2. Life is not fair. I have a blog post on this simmering (i.e. still in my head)

    Don't be hard on yourself. You're allowed to feel sad. Hugs.

  3. I don't agree when you say "I should get over it".
    Life is not fair, And you certainly have the right to be sad about that - it is so much better to let it flow out than to keep it all in.
    Hugs and kisses

  4. I so agree with Kinsey, Mali and unenfantpeutetre! They have completely captured what popped to mind as I read your post. xoxoxo

  5. I have had many days like this, especially when I was working. November-December was always our busiest time of year at the office. I always felt like everyone else was out enjoying the season and getting into the Christmas spirit and I was stuck at work, missing all the fun. Maybe a "mental health day" is in order. ;) (((hugs)))

  6. It comes and goes for me too. Some days I am fine - others...not so much.