We had a New Year business lunch with coworkers. It was quite nice, lunch was delicious. There were 40 of us.
At one point somebody started to count women around our table (mostly aged 27 - 40, most of them have children) and counted that out of 12 women only one is married. I wasn't listening to that conversation, I heard only when my best coworker commented: "No, 2 of us are married, also Klara is married."
My first neighbor at the table was utterly surprised and asked me: "You? You are married? I thought you were just living with a man."
I calmly replied that yes, I have been married for 11 years.
But inside I was deeply hurt. I am married with the love of my life. But to the outside world it seems that if we don't have children, our relationship is like nothing.
I am better today. It is a sunny weekend, I was outside a lot. And I even went for one hour of swimming yesterday. Being active & fresh air do help to lift my spirit.
Wishing you all a beautiful Sunday!
One of my coworkers died last week; the question came up if he had children. One coworker replied simply "yes, in their teens". The other one blurts out, "he didn't have biological children". People are just insensitive.
ReplyDeleteThere's so much judgement in that woman's comment, isn't there? And not just the assumption that if you were married you'd have children. Judgement about marriage or "just living with a man" these days (or in New Zealand at least) is less and less relevant. I have friends who've been "just living together" for 30+ years, many others who have been together 10 years and more - longer than many marriages.
ReplyDeleteThat was pretty tactless, in my opinion. I'm so sorry that your colleague said that! Hopefully she'll never make the same mistake again.
ReplyDeleteI am envious that you had a sunny weekend! It was dreary here. I don't even mind the cold as much if it is sunny.