The vultures are already flying above us

Life has been busy lately. Not many things reminded me of my childlessness, so I felt I didn't have much to write about. But I do miss my blog (and having time for reading others), so now that autumn rain has come I will have more time. 

Covid19 has made travelling almost impossible so this is opportunity to visit (and take photos) some of the most beautiful tourist sights of my country. I took this photo of a beautiful alpine lake in the middle of lockdown in May and I thought you would love to see it.  

The longtime readers of my blog know that there are many children that I love. But the ones you love can hurt you the most. 

A girl - almost a teenager now - was on a short holidays in our place with other kids. We had a lovely time together, full of activities (highlight: swimming in a big outdoor swimming pool in a neighbouring town). In the evening the girl asked me: "When you are very old and in a nursing home - since you won't be able to look after yourselves - the employees in a nursing home would ask you - You don't have any relatives, so who will inherit your house?"

The girl used the sentence - you don't have any relatives ( she didn't use - you don't have any children). 

And yes, this girl is my relative. 

I don't remember when I yelled as much as I yelled at the girl. I explained that this is OUR house and that NOBODY will inherit it. When the times comes, we will sell it and use the money to pay for the care needed for our old years. 

(a note: of course we both hope that we will be able to live in our beautiful new home for another fifty healthy years and that we don't have to sell it. But who knows what the future will bring.). 

My husband asked me later that evening why was I yelling and I told him the story. He just shrugged and said: "The vultures are already flying above us."  I have always loved his sense of humour.

*** 

It is not the girl's fault for asking. She has seen some cases around where an old childless person gives all property to a nephew / niece / neighbour  in exchange for taking care. I could write many things, but I won't. One terrible sentence  - that I heard more times that I wanted it - is something like - They had to work very hard to earn this house. Meaning: the childless aunt / uncle lived much longer as expected.

Summer photos

 

@Slovenian seaside

Bread by Klara

Since I got some emails / comments / compliments regarding my bread I decided to share my recipee with you. If you wish to see a video (in my language) from a lady who bakes her bread, just send me an email to: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com  ... and I will happily send you the link.

INGREDIENTS

·         500 g flour (usually I put 400 g white wheat flour and 100 g spelt flour, but you can put any flour you wish)
·         13 g fresh yeast
·         1/3 teaspoon sugar
·         2 teaspoons salt
·         about 0,33 l of lukewarm water
·         1 or 2 tablespoons olive oil

Grid the yeast into a cup, add a 1/3 of teaspoon of sugar and a little lukewarm water. Stir and allow the yeast to rise in a warm place.

Sift flour by dumping it into a strainer over the mixing bowl (this gets air bubbles into the flour). Make a little space in the middle of flour and put there risen yeast. Mix with electric mixer for 1 minute. Then add the water, salt, olive oil. The exact amount of water depends on the flour itself.

Using an electric mixer, knead the dough until you get an elastic dough that just deviates from the bowl.

Then knead it by hand into the desired shape and leave it to rise in the rising bowl until it almost doubles in volume (aprox 40-50 minutes).

When it has risen enough, shake it on a floured surface and knead it with your  hands again.

I love to decorate the bread with the help of flour, thread and Swiss knife***.

Leave the bread for another 20 minutes to rise on a tray covered with baking paper (cover the bread with cotton cloth). Place the model in a warm place so that the dough rises again. I leave the bread in the kitchen and I make sure that no window is open.

I  always use my steam fan oven: 180°C for 50 minutes. 

(other advice is: bake it for 15 minutes at 220°C and then another 20 minutes at 200°  in ordinary oven where you add a pot with water – this creates steam that makes bread crunchy and delicious).

Using the baking paper, take the baked bread out of the oven and place it on the wooden desk to cool, covered with cotton cloth.

Dober tek! Bon appetit!

***Swiss knife was a gift from my bloggie friend from Switzerland. So baking bread in a way always reminds me how beautifully I am connected with many kind souls around the world who – just like me – are trying to find their own version of happiness in a life after infertility.

Sunday greetings

There are so many topics I want to write about that it is difficult to know where to begin.

Perhaps with the most important news. I had a regular check-up after the cancer operation. Everything seems fine so my next control is next year.

I had my last period 14 months ago so I guess I am now officially menopausal. I am only 46 so I don't feel comfortable with that. Not that I miss having periods - I still (and always will) remember how heartbroken I was many times when getting it. But being without it for good opens a new chapter in my life and I am still getting used to it.

This week I spent one working day with an older coworker with whom I usually don't work closely. He spent whole day telling stories about his three grown up children and his ways of helping them. He went on and on that the children are his main meaning of life.  Later on in the day we briefly discussed something about cooking and leftovers and I said that since I cook only for two, I master the quantities necessary so we (almost) never have any leftovers. Only then he realized that he doesn't even know if I have any children or not so he asked whether I don't have children. And I said no. I could see that he felt sorrow and pity for me when he apologized.

It didn't hurt, I got used to awkward moments like that during the last 17 years of infertility. It was actually the moment that I realized how easy it is for people with kids know what is their meaning of life. And I still actively think about it and create my own meaning of life.

I would like to conclude this post with some photos of beautiful Venice. I spent a whole day there just few days before the coronavirus outbreak. I wish Italy (and also the rest of the world) a fast recovery from the caotic situation.

Madrid photos

Many readers commented over the years how much they like my travelling photos. So I am attaching few. I took them few weeks ago, on my business trip. I hope you like them.
I wish I could stay in Madrid longer, I loved it.

How fortunate I was that the trip was scheduled only few weeks before the Europe (almost) stopped due to coronavirus. There isn't any confirmed case in my country, but there were cases in all the countries around us, so it is only matter of days when the virus hits also us.

My Christmas wish

I have the same Christmas wish as the last four years.
I would love to get an email from you.
To learn who you are. 
Where you come from.
Why you read my blog.
What my blog means to you.  
Did it help in any way?

I promise I will not publish your emails, nor misuse them in any way.
And I promise I will write back :)

My email: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com


I am looking forward to Christmas :)
I loved receiving emails last four Decembers from literally all around the world!  


PS: I took this photo in Milan few days ago while travelling for work. I didn't buy anything, but I enjoyed a lot window shopping. Italians really master the art of decoration.

A photo album

 I noticed few years ago that in the photo albums that my nieces and nephews have there isn't even one single photo that would include me. I decided not to be bitter about it but instead do something about it :)

I told the kids a while ago that every kid will get for her/his 12th birthday a photo album from me.

The oldest niece has just turned 12 so I was working on the project for few weeks. The album turned out to be awesome (even the kid loved it!). It is full of photos of her - when she was with me. I am only on three photos (one is when I am holding her in my arm for the very first time).  On all the other photos she is alone or with other kids when we had fun days together. I am not on the photo, but I was always on the other part of the camera. It feels special - that very moment the child was looking at me and I captured this moment.

Instead of ordering a photo book I preferred to buy a real good quality photo album (I found a pretty light pink one) and have the photos developed. With each photo I wrote a date and a line or two. 

I hope that she keeps the photo album forever. This way she will be able to see that I was an important person of her childhood. 

The next photo album project: will be done in two years. I am looking forward to it already now.

***
Part of the photo of me, holding her for the very first time. I can still remember how heartbroken I was when she arrived (I was just after another failed IVF). How glad am I that those hard years of infertility are over! 



This album is also a memory of the time when I was cool aunt. Now she is almost a teenager so whenever I invite her somewhere, it is always the same reply "No, thank you."