Broken dreams & a beautiful world

I was in this city for two days (does anybody knows which city it is?),  working. Since it is summer and the sea is wonderful for swimming (it has 25C),  I chose to stay for one night at the sea resort, full of families with small children and older couples. I was the only alone person there.  

I got quite some strange looks since people are not used that one goes to the beach alone. Or that one has dinner in hotel restaurant alone.  

Infertility gave me a thick skin. So strange looks didn't bother me. I found them amusing.  

In a way I like to be different. 

I enjoyed my late afternoon off work, swimming and reading a book.
(I am reading now this book: http://www.bookdepository.com/Namesake-Jhumpa-Lahiri/9780006551805
I like it.

I enjoyed going for a long walk in the evening and early morning.  

At breakfast, I sat alone at big table. And after a while came a little 6-year-old girl and asked me if she could join me with her granny. Obviously I said yes. I chatted a bit with the girl, Aurora, a clever little girl she was.   After a while she asked me: "And you are here all alone???"  

I wasn't hurt. I explained the little girl that was there for work and that even if you go alone swimming (when you are big) it is fun.  

When I was paying for my hotel room, I noticed that they have the poem Desiderata in a frame. I read it for the first time in my own language. 

The words of the line "With all ... broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world" touched my soul.


So true!

I love sea

We just returned from our first holidays this year (1 night at the seaside). It was lovely to spend some time with DH. 

The last photo: this is the photo of the most beautiful hotel in our country. Obviously we were not staying there. But - admiring is free of charge :)

Photos from Normandy II

It was only 110 days after I published this post:
http://thenext15000days.blogspot.com/2014/03/do-i-have-any-reader-from-normandy.html

and it was only 100 days after Kaymet, my dear bloggie friend from France published this post on her blog:
http://unenfantpeutetre.wordpress.com/2014/03/22/de-caen-a-ljubljana/

and it was only  90 days after a kind Irouwen sent me many beautiful photos from Normandy (including the one above)

and it was only  85 days after I showed the photos of his brother's graveyard to my father-in-law 

that my father-in-law died.

He died almost exactly 70 years after his brother.

Although I guess he did not believe in after-life nor heaven, I hope that they are together, the two brothers, in a place without pain and worries.

**** 

I never thought that infertility would bring me anything positive.

But it has. Because of my infertility I had started to slip into depression. And by writing a blog I tried to save me. Not only did I save myself, but I also  found kind souls all around the world.

*** 
Dear Kaymet & dear Irouwen - thank you again for your help. I will never forget it. 
The photos meant a lot for my father-in-law. 
The photos were the best gift that he got in the last few decades I guess.

love,

Klara

Some newsletters really suck

How I hate it that Time sends me a newsletter with the title "The best birth control no one is using".
So not interested!!!

Cycling & Lavender

Cycling always puts me into good mood. There is the road, there are steep hills, so I am focused only to that. No time for loneliness. No time for negative thoughts. 

I really wished to go cycling to the seaside, alone. But the weather forecast was bad for the coast, so I choose mountain tour. 

Almost 100 kilometers and lots of steep hills. But it was worth it, I feel great now.

Some photos attached.

In the hills, some streams are drinkable. I always drink from this one, it is delicious!

 Steep :)

St. Ciril & St. Metod under beautiful Linden trees

 This is the most beautiful village in my country. 

It is also a birthplace of famous painter: 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Grohar

Beautiful lavender - I got it as a gift from a kind old woman that I don't know. 

I just stopped by and asked them for water. 
Lavender really made the day even more beautiful. 

I am now drying it - so it will remain, as a remainder that there are kind people out there.

And that good things happen when least expected.

Good night & sweet dreams.

Blueberries & Chanterelles

Best recipe for shaking off negative thoughts?

Spending whole afternoon

completely alone

in the middle of a beautiful forest

picking up 

blueberries & chanterelles. 

I am the worst nightmare

A year and a half ago I met in a shopping centre a really nice girl that I knew from work. She worked in another company, but we worked together on many projects together ten to five years ago. We liked working together, sometimes we joked we are dream team. Then I changed work and we lost a contact. 

We were glad to see each other, we went for a coffee. We started to talk and we had the first personal talk ever. It turned out that she was just after fourth failed IVF cycle. 

I told her my story. It felt good to talk. We said to meet soon. 

After few weeks I sent her a message, inviting her for a coffee to my town. She declined, saying she was very busy at work and would call me. She never did.  I never invited her again, because I assumed I knew the reason.

And today, checking out my FB profile, it turned out that I was right.

There - on her profile - is a beautiful photo of her newborn daughter, born this morning.  

Yes, I was right. I am the worst nightmare for anybody who is not ready to give up hope of having biological children. I am the proof that sometimes, after fourth failed IVF there is only fifth failed IVF. 

But she was born under a lucky star - her dreams came true. Mine didn't. 

Time to change to my cycling gear and go on a short tour on my bike. It is a great tool to put away all negative thoughts.