I have the same Christmas wish as the last eight years.
I would like to receive an email from you.
To know who you are.
Where you come from.
Why you read my blog.
What my blog means to you.
Has it helped you in any way?
I promise I will not publish your email or misuse it in any way. And I promise to write back :)
My email: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com
Looking forward to Christmas :)
PS: I've just baked a walnut potica, a traditional Slovenian sweet pastry.
I am sharing with you my old post that I wrote 8 years ago. It is the most read post on my blog:
https://thenext15000days.blogspot.com/2015/03/i-can-see-that-you-dont-have-children.html
I love re-reading my old posts.
Most of the posts I would now re-write, change, delete. But this one.. is just perfect as it is.
The old man who looks like the Santa: he is still alive and healthy enough to work. He sent me a text just yesterday with greetings.
For 13 years I have been invited to the birthday parties of my cousin's children. For the first few years, I always thanked them for the invitation but declined. It would have broken my heart. My cousin didn't stop inviting me the following year (as most people with children did) and I will be forever grateful for that.
I have been going to the birthday lunches for a few years now. It feels good to be included.
I made a special birthday present for my niece this year (well, technically she's not really my niece, but she feels like one). An album of 150 photos: the best moments I have had with her over the last 14 years. I wrote down all the dates and for each photo I wrote a short story.
I didn't know if she would like it. But no matter what - I decided to make it and give it to her. What she does with it is out of my hands.
She was very happy to receive the album. She proudly showed it to the other children in the family (there were lots of their photos in her album too) and they admired the photos together.
Just priceless.
***
The photo on the blog: I did a treasure hunt for my niece and three other children for her 6th birthday. The present was a beautiful blue T-shirt with a hundred stars on it.
Most of the time I am doing OK with my childlessness.
But not on 1st of September.
I used to look forward to the first day of school every year. I used to dream of all the rituals I would do with my children one day.
It is only one of those days that reminds me of our loss. (Can you lose something you never had? Yes, you can).
***
On the brighter side. I spent two lovely days last week with my eleven-year-old niece and nephew, who were staying with us. The highlight of their stay was a walk around the beautiful Lake Bohinj (see photo) in the middle of the Julian Alps. There are 13 km around the lake. I also invited the two girls of our neighbours. It was just wonderful - spending a whole day with four lovely children. We were also swimming in the lake.
It reminded me how easy it is to do fun, active things when you have children.
I know I am just a small part of these children's lives. But at the same time - I will always be the one who took them for their first walk around this beautiful lake. Just priceless.
Has anyone read my bio lately?
I am a 50-something European woman doing what I once thought wasn't possible: finding happiness after infertility. While it's been a long, difficult and emotional journey (10 unsuccessful IVF treatments), each day I take another step down the path toward a fulfilling new life. This is my story of reinvention. I will be happy to hear from you: klara.soncek (@ ) gmail.com
I've just changed the number in the text :)
Turning 40 was stressful. I had been struggling with infertility for the whole decade and I knew that if I didn't have a child by 40, it would never happen. So turning 40 and accepting a life without children forever was heartbreakingly hard.
Turning 50? Easy. I have learnt to enjoy the little things. No matter how small. Like admiring every day this beautiful sunflower I planted.
