Nobody cares about the aunts

Most of the days I am feeling OK in my childless skin. But then I hear some stupid comment and I get really angry & hurt. I know - there is still a long way to be healed completely.

This is a conversation that I had few days ago with my brother (beloved baby brother, now a father of two daughters).

He explained me a conversation that he had with our cousin (the one that was visiting us two weeks ago). 

The cousin is really spoiling her two nephews. She bought something that meant a lot to her 10-year-old nephew and the nephew thanked her. She said to him (jokingly) that she was spoiling him because she expects from him not to forget about her when she will be old & grey.

I know my cousin. I know that she does not count on her nephews to take care of her (BTW: she is only 34, so her old age is really far away).

This conversation was overheard by boy's mother (=her sister-in-law) and she replied to my cousin (in a very superior mode): "Do you really think that my son will want to have anything with his old aunt? Nobody cares about the aunts!"


***

My brother told the story and then stopped talking. I didn't really get it, what was his opinion on that. So I asked him, what was his comment.

I hoped the reply would be that cousin's sister-in-law was really rude.

My brother comment was - a quote - "our cousin is really stupid if she thinks that the nephew would take care of her".

***

So yes, my brother's comment really made be angry. I did not want to go into any discussion. So I just replied that our cousin will be very rich when she is old (=based on her well paid profession), even if she does not marry. And that she will pay, if she needs any help. 


***
So superior, my brother as well. Does he really think that his two daughters will take such a good care of him when he is old?

Yet???

While cooking a coffee in the kitchenette, I talked to a coworker (mother of two toddlers).  I asked her where she parks her car now. She said that she was thinking about it for a while, and then decided for a monthly rent of the garage near our offices.

I already explained to her before that I am not willing to spend 10 % of my monthly pay for a garage.

So she asked me, where do I park the car now. And I said that I always park on a large parking free of charge that is 15 minutes of walking from the office.

A coworker commented that this was really a lot of walking. I tried to make a little joke, so I responded: "I don't mind walking. Since I don't have any children yet, I am not in a hurry to pick them up at the kindergarten, so I have time to walk."

***
We prepared the coffee and went each into the office.

But I still don't know, where did this YET came from.

At my heart and mind I already made peace with the decision to accept childless life. But obviously my subconscious isn't there yet...

Lake Titicaca

Yes, Itchy Feet Syndrome can bring you places really far away :) 

I love travelling

Each of us finds different way of coping with grief & loss. My way was always: travelling!  Buying two flight tickets online, packing backpack, buying a guide and then ... holidays!

After every two failed IVFs we went travelling, to heal my broken heart. So if anybody asked me - are there any advantages of having 10 failed IVFs the answer would be: Yes. We did see lot of the World :)

I am attaching a photo, taken by me (or by DH) three years ago.  It definitely is a breath taking place.


***

I guess we will not be able to go any place for a while (because of taking care for a sick dog & saving money for our house).  But my feet start to itch. They would love to go somewhere, far away, at least for few weeks...

My cousin

I spent the whole day with my cousin. I really like her, it is just that I haven't seen her for some years (she lives approx. 7 hours of driving away). 

She is 34, very successful in her job and single.  While eating the best cake in our capital she talked to me how horrible is the pressure of the whole family - asking her literally every week if she already found anybody. How she hates advices that the time is running out and why is she so picky. 

I really hope that she finds the love of her life one day. She is a wonderful girl.

(but if she doesn't - I really think it is better to be single as in a bad relationship. I know that. I did live in a bad relationship almost 15 years ago, for many years. To put it mildly - it was not nice.)  

the truth about ivf, childfree

I love checking google statistics - how new visitors find me.

Today somebody googled:
the truth about ivf, childfree

and found my blog.

How cool is that?!

***

The truth is that not all infertility journeys include the marketing brochure happy ending.


And - the truth is, that (at least today)  I do not care. I had a good day at work, then I spent some lovely time with my beloved Wolf and now I returned from a short jogging in the rain. Life is good.

I am the wrong person to complain to

A coworker (that I otherwise really like) complained to me today:
"I have a parent meeting today afternoon for three hours at school for my oldest one and tomorrow another parent meeting in the kindergarten for the little one. How I hate it! It is waste of time."


Dear parents - please do not ever complain to me again. I would love to waste my time on things like that.


(The only good thing is that I am becoming a master at getting the conversation back to safe work talk).