Priceless

 

For 13 years I have been invited to the birthday parties of my cousin's children. For the first few years, I always thanked them for the invitation but declined. It would have broken my heart. My cousin didn't stop inviting me the following year (as most people with children did) and I will be forever grateful for that.

I have been going to the birthday lunches for a few years now. It feels good to be included.

I made a special birthday present for my niece this year (well, technically she's not really my niece, but she feels like one). An album of 150 photos: the best moments I have had with her over the last 14 years. I wrote down all the dates and for each photo I wrote a short story.

I didn't know if she would like it. But no matter what - I decided to make it and give it to her. What she does with it is out of my hands.

She was very happy to receive the album. She proudly showed it to the other children in the family (there were lots of their photos in her album too) and they admired the photos together.

Just priceless.

***

The photo on the blog: I did a treasure hunt for my niece and three other children for her 6th birthday. The present was a beautiful blue T-shirt with a hundred stars on it.

Bosnia

I visited Bosnia again after many years. It was a wonderful holiday, catching up with people I love.

I share some of my favourite photos with you.

1st of September

 

Most of the time I am doing OK with my childlessness.

But not on 1st of September.  

I used to look forward to the first day of school every year. I used to dream of all the rituals I would do with my children one day.

It is only one of those days that reminds me of our loss. (Can you lose something you never had? Yes, you can).

***

On the brighter side.  I spent two lovely days last week with my eleven-year-old niece and nephew, who were staying with us. The highlight of their stay was a walk around the beautiful Lake Bohinj (see photo) in the middle of the Julian Alps. There are 13 km around the lake. I also invited the two girls of our neighbours. It was just wonderful - spending a whole day with four lovely children. We were also swimming in the lake.

It reminded me how easy it is to do fun, active things when you have children.


I know I am just a small part of these children's lives. But at the same time - I will always be the one who took them for their first walk around this beautiful lake. Just priceless.

A beautiful sunflower & changing the number in the text :)

 

Has anyone read my bio lately?

I am a 50-something European woman doing what I once thought wasn't possible: finding happiness after infertility. While it's been a long, difficult and emotional journey (10 unsuccessful IVF treatments), each day I take another step down the path toward a fulfilling new life. This is my story of reinvention. I will be happy to hear from you: klara.soncek (@ ) gmail.com

I've just changed the number in the text :) 

 

Turning 40 was stressful. I had been struggling with infertility for the whole decade and I knew that if I didn't have a child by 40, it would never happen. So turning 40 and accepting a life without children forever was heartbreakingly hard.

Turning 50? Easy. I have learnt to enjoy the little things. No matter how small. Like admiring every day this beautiful sunflower I planted.

Maybe You Should Talk to Someone

 

“One thing that has surprised Julie about going through the process of watching herself die is how vivid her world has become. Everything that she used to take for granted produces a sense of revelation, as if she were a child again. Tastes- the sweetness of a strawberry, it’s juice dripping onto her chin; a buttery pastry melting in her mouth. Smells - flowers on a front lawn, a colleague‘s perfume, seaweed washed up on the shore, Matt’s sweaty body in bed at night. Sounds – the strings on a cello, the screech of a car, her nephew’s laughter. Experiences - dancing at a birthday party, people-watching at Starbucks, buying a cute dress, opening the mail. All of this, no matter how mundane, delights her to no end. She’s become hyper-present. When people delude themselves into believing they have all the time in the world, she noticed, they get lazy. She hadn’t expected to experience this pleasure in her grief, to find it invigorating, in a way. But even as she’s dying, she’s realized, life goes on - even as the cancer invades her body, she still checks Twitter. At first she thought, why would I waste even ten minutes of the time I have left checking Twitter? And then she thought, why wouldn’t I? I like Twitter! She also tries not to dwell on what she’s losing. “I can breathe fine now, “Julie says, “but it’ll get harder, and I’ll grieve for that. Until then, I breathe.”
― Lori Gottlieb,  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone 

 

 

I am sharing a happy photo, me reading at the beach in beautiful Dalmatia.We had 7 days of sun and 35 C and the last day was still warm, but very windy.  

 

I enjoyed reading the book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone really a lot, I loved it on so many levels. I liked many characters, I am sharing the quote of my favourite, Julie. 

 

 ****

I haven't been doing that well recently. I got very ill with covid few days ago :(  

I had very high temperature and bad headache. Now I am already a bit better, but I am still not healthy.  

The floods in Slovenia :(

There are terrible floods in Slovenia :(

https://www.nbcnews.com/now/video/three-people-dead-after-heavy-rain-and-floods-hit-slovenia-190053445798

Our region is hit the hardest, luckily our home and homes of our families are safe. 

It is still raining very hard and we can only hope and pray it will stop soon.

 

 

You won’t get today back