Thursday, October 29, 2015

IVF Addiction

I have been so busy at work lately that I didn't have much time to follow anything online. So I read this brilliant post only today:

This is my comment to the post: 

I used to gather all the needles from my second round of IVF. It was a long protocol and I gathered all the needles and took a photo. Then, I was so sure that the IVF will work for us. I wanted to have a photo as a memory to show to my child one day.
I deleted the photo, after the negative result. But the photo is still very vivid in my mind.
Addiction. I couldn’t agree more. This is what I was, addict, in the first decade of my infertility.
I knew IVFs can leave me damage. But still, I just could not stop. I was so depressed that I literally did not care if I die. The word seemed so dark that I did not want to live if being childless.
The state fully paid for 6 rounds of IVF (also for ALL the drugs). But still, I wasn’t offered any counseling that I obviously needed much more.
I paid additional 4 IVFs by myself.
So yes, here I am. Living my life again, after 10 failed IVFs.
Breaking point for me was when I went to Czech Republic for the 10th round of IVF and the drugs caused me horrible side affects. I was so swollen – I gained 5 kilos in few days – it was water, I was all swollen, I had problems breathing and walking. That was the moment when I realized that I do love life. And that I want to LIVE.
That was the time I quit ALL fertility drugs for good.
And then I lived with my DH happily ever after :)


  1. (((HUGS!)))

    IVF addiction, unlike addiction to legal drugs, is encouraged by doctors and society. It's the don't ever give up mentality.

    I'm so thankful that you quit fertility drugs and that you chose to live. And the best thing is that you are a shining example of living happily ever after! I am so thankful that you are my friend and my sister too!

  2. Your last line made me smile!

    You know, this raised another issue for me. I've often thought compared NZ (that funds 2 rounds of IVF, provided only one embryo is transferred at a time) with countries that fund multiple rounds of IVF, and have been a bit jealous. (Even though I didn't qualify for free IVF anyway.) But I realise that it raises a question - in funding many rounds, are they doing harm to the women? Are multilple or unlimited free IVF cycles as harmful as those countries that don't provide any?