IVF Addiction

I have been so busy at work lately that I didn't have much time to follow anything online. So I read this brilliant post only today:
http://blog.silentsorority.com/ivf-addiction/


This is my comment to the post: 

I used to gather all the needles from my second round of IVF. It was a long protocol and I gathered all the needles and took a photo. Then, I was so sure that the IVF will work for us. I wanted to have a photo as a memory to show to my child one day.
I deleted the photo, after the negative result. But the photo is still very vivid in my mind.
Addiction. I couldn’t agree more. This is what I was, addict, in the first decade of my infertility.
I knew IVFs can leave me damage. But still, I just could not stop. I was so depressed that I literally did not care if I die. The word seemed so dark that I did not want to live if being childless.
The state fully paid for 6 rounds of IVF (also for ALL the drugs). But still, I wasn’t offered any counseling that I obviously needed much more.
I paid additional 4 IVFs by myself.
So yes, here I am. Living my life again, after 10 failed IVFs.
Breaking point for me was when I went to Czech Republic for the 10th round of IVF and the drugs caused me horrible side affects. I was so swollen – I gained 5 kilos in few days – it was water, I was all swollen, I had problems breathing and walking. That was the moment when I realized that I do love life. And that I want to LIVE.
That was the time I quit ALL fertility drugs for good.
And then I lived with my DH happily ever after :)

15th October

Infertility took a lot from me.

But on the other hand, it gave me so much. So many exciting, wonderful memories that will stay for me forever.

Exactly one year ago we landed at San Francisco airport for our 3-week-travelling around California & Nevada. Happy times.

Dear P&A: we are looking forward to many more travelling together in the next decades!

Good news II

My gyn has just made another ultrasound.
The cyst has gone, completely.
I am really happy.

(Now all I have to do is to put under control the reflux that has been bothering me for the last three months and then I have no further wishes).


PS:  This year I had 40 sunflowers on my garden, they were beautiful. The photo was taken a month ago.