Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Feeling empty

Friends who live abroad and have one child visited us. It was nice evening. Since we haven't see each other for almost a year, there were lots of news also from our side. We showed them the plans for our future little house.

They were looking at the plans of the rooms and then she explained - "Great, you have even one child's room upstairs!".

I quickly corrected her that that will be our office, with 2 desks and place to store all of our papers.

Nothing further was said on that topic.

The evening left me empty. Why do I even bother spending time with people who don't bother to understand me? I have known this friend for 25 years (we were in university together). And she knows about all the failed IVFs.  How could she think that now, aged 44  (when we will move to the house I will be almost 46) we need a room for a child?


  1. Dear Klara, I don't understand why your friend said this. She mustn't have realized how cruel this was. Sometimes it seems to me as if we can only be truly understood and respected by others who have gone through the same or very similar experience(s). It's sad. Sendig hugs <3

  2. I am sorry that the evening turned out so empty - it was really thoughtless of your friend to say such a thing.
    Big hugs from France!

  3. dear Elaine and Kaymet, thank you for your kind words. Hugs always help!

  4. Wow. This hurt to read. I would have felt empty too. Why did she say that? That makes no sense. I have no idea. People can be so thoughtless. I am so sorry, Klara. My friends with children never get it either, no matter how long I've known them. Hugs.

  5. I wonder if she meant a place for her child to stay when they visit? Maybe, maybe not. (Besides, that's OUR room! lol)

    I wonder how she would have responded if you'd just said, "why would you say that?"

    I'm sorry that it left you feeling empty, and send hugs. I hope one day you'll be able to roll your eyes at her thoughtlessness and - frankly - stupidity, and that comments like that won't hurt as much.

    1. When we showed them the plan of the house, downstairs there is a guestroom. And upstairs is the room that she assumed that it is child's room... just because all houses have room for a child. Well, almost all.
      Her tongue was quicker then her brain, that's why she said it.

      I do hope you and your DH really come one day. The room will be ready already in 2019!!!