Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Nobody gets everything

A bloggie friend (Elaine, thank you!) sent me this wonderful interview:
https://howtofail.podbean.com/e/how-to-fail-marian-keyes/

I love how Marian Keyes talks about her childlessness. I agree - wanting too much is not healthy. I never had any councelling, but I think I had an IVF addiction. If I hadn't had an addiction, I wouldn't have had 10 IVFs.

And I agree with Marian - nobody gets everything.

**********

Most of the time I am at peace with my childlessness. 

I have only three wishes now.
To fully recover after the accident that left me with severely injured hands.
Coronavirus crisis to end.
And to get my job back. I am currently without work because of coronavirus lockdown.


Sunday, March 8, 2020

Sunday greetings

There are so many topics I want to write about that it is difficult to know where to begin.

Perhaps with the most important news. I had a regular check-up after the cancer operation. Everything seems fine so my next control is next year.

I had my last period 14 months ago so I guess I am now officially menopausal. I am only 46 so I don't feel comfortable with that. Not that I miss having periods - I still (and always will) remember how heartbroken I was many times when getting it. But being without it for good opens a new chapter in my life and I am still getting used to it.

This week I spent one working day with an older coworker with whom I usually don't work closely. He spent whole day telling stories about his three grown up children and his ways of helping them. He went on and on that the children are his main meaning of life.  Later on in the day we briefly discussed something about cooking and leftovers and I said that since I cook only for two, I master the quantities necessary so we (almost) never have any leftovers. Only then he realized that he doesn't even know if I have any children or not so he asked whether I don't have children. And I said no. I could see that he felt sorrow and pity for me when he apologized.

It didn't hurt, I got used to awkward moments like that during the last 17 years of infertility. It was actually the moment that I realized how easy it is for people with kids know what is their meaning of life. And I still actively think about it and create my own meaning of life.

I would like to conclude this post with some photos of beautiful Venice. I spent a whole day there just few days before the coronavirus outbreak. I wish Italy (and also the rest of the world) a fast recovery from the caotic situation.









Sunday, March 1, 2020

Madrid photos














Many readers commented over the years how much they like my travelling photos. So I am attaching few. I took them few weeks ago, on my business trip. I hope you like them.
I wish I could stay in Madrid longer, I loved it.

How fortunate I was that the trip was scheduled only few weeks before the Europe (almost) stopped due to coronavirus. There isn't any confirmed case in my country, but there were cases in all the countries around us, so it is only matter of days when the virus hits also us.






Monday, February 24, 2020

The Fruitless Tree

I've missed my blog. The life can be so busy sometimes. I promise to  start writing  soon.

In the meantime I would like to share a video made by a courageous Aicha Macky - a childless woman from Niger who describes herself as a fruitless tree. I loved the video:

https://www.bbc.com/news/av/world-africa-51589542/my-journey-to-accept-being-a-childless-woman-in-niger

Sunday, January 12, 2020

Happy New Year

I wish a very Happy New Year to all my readers!

I've just read the article "52 Places to Go in 2020":
https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/travel/places-to-visit.html

I loved it so I am sharing it with you.

Check number 48... this is where I live : )


Monday, December 30, 2019

Life after infertility



I love Pamela's latest article: https://blog.silentsorority.com/life-after-infertility/ 

I watched again Ellie & Carl's story from Up, I absolutely love it. In no other movie were the love and infertility so beautifully portrayed as here.

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Je vais trouver ma place dans ce monde

I recently started attending a French course and I just love it!  My teacher is young, enthusiastic and full of good ideas. For example - she thinks that the best way of learning a foreign language is listening to fairy tales that you know from your childhood... this way it is easier to understand and learn new language.

I just loved it when we listened to "Le Vilain Caneton" / The Ugly Duckling: https://www.thefrenchexperiment.com/stories/uglyduckling 

Infertility (and living a different life as most people) is such a big part of me that I find meaningful parts even in stories!

"Qu'est ce qu'il a ce vilain caneton? Il n'est pas comme nous!"
"What about that ugly duckling? He's not like us!"

"Je ne me sens pas à ma place ici, je m'en vais. Je vais trouver ma place dans ce monde."
"I don't fit in here, I'll go away. I'll find my own place in the world." 

Je vais trouver ma place dans ce monde .. how beautifully put! Exactly! This is what I am doing here, by writing my blog of living childless after infertility. 

*** 
I just love this version of ending of the story. 

Les autres cygnes le salu√®rent. "Tu ES le plus joli de tous les cygnes" dirent-ils. Le vilain caneton rougit. "Je ne suis pas le plus beau de tous les cygnes" dit-il "Je suis le plus HEUREUX de tous les cygnes!"

The other swans greeted him. "You ARE the most beautiful swan of all," they said. The ugly duckling blushed. "I'm not the most beautiful swan of all," he said. "I am the HAPPIEST swan of all."

*** 
Have you read my Christmas wish?
http://thenext15000days.blogspot.com/2019/12/my-christmas-wish.html
So far I haven't got even one single new email. You still have some days time :)