Thursday, December 1, 2016

Mali's post & some new photos from Italy








I just returned from another trip to Italy (region north - east of Venice), I am attaching few photos. The weather was just picture perfect. Very cold and sunny.  

This time I wasn't travelling alone as usually, I was with a coworker. She is a kind person, but so focused on her children that she almost  literally does not speak about anything else.  

I was feeling a bit blue when I came home. My spirit lifted when I read Mali's latest post: http://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.si/2016/11/six-years-on.html
I was deeply touched when reading her lines. 

I feel like an outsider most of the time. It is so lovely to see that I do belong somewhere.

Thank you Mali, for everything.





Follow your Heart

Follow Your Heart


I have just re-read one of my favourite novels all times, it is just beautiful. It is a story about life that an old woman writes to her granddaughter. I remember when reading it for the first time, I was around 27 and thinking about what would I write to my granddaughter one day. I remembered this thought, but it didn't hurt. Sometimes life turns out differently as planned and it is OK. I have to live MY life, not regret the life that was not meant to be mine.

Here is a wonderful quote from the book:

“Every time you feel lost, confused, think about trees, remember how they grow. Remember that a tree with lots of branches and few roots will get toppled by the first strong wind, while the sap hardly moves in a tree with many roots and few branches. Roots and branches must grow in equal measure, you have to stand both inside of things and above them, because only then will you be able to offer shade and shelter, only then will you be able to cover yourself with leaves and fruit at the proper season.
And later on, when so many roads open up before you, you don't know which to take, don't pick one at random; sit down and wait. Breathe deeply, trustingly, the way you breathed on the day when you came into the world, don't let anything distract you, wait and wait some more. Stay still, be quiet, and listen to your heart. Then, when it speaks, get up and go where it takes you.” 

More about the novel:
FollowYourHeart




 

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Finally: a new bloggie friend is coming for a visit



So far two bloggie friends visited me and it was just perfect.

I got a wonderful news this week: a bloggie friend from France will be visiting me in February, she already bought the plane tickets! The room for their skiing holidays (photo attached) is booked, I am now just keeping my fingers crossed that there will be lots of snow this winter!

I think that my bloggie friend was born in the same year as I was. We have been reading each other's blogs (me, with the help of google translate) and commenting for many years, I really like her. She had been also struggling for many years to get a child, she was luckier then me.

Do you know what is the best part?   I think it is the first time (after the infertility) that I am actually looking forward to meeting a little child. I see that as a sign of my healing.

Guess which European city this is



This is a contest for my readers outside Europe.
Guess in which city I took these photos just for you, few days ago :)

I still regret that I don't have children and I know I always will. But this is one of the silver linings of my childlessness: going on plenty business trips. I don't have enough money to travel often, so it is just lovely to see a bit of the world while working.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Unfortunately not

I went out for a drink after business event with 10 colleagues from other companies. We were chatting, drinking beer, laughing. In the meantime I had time to talk to a colleague sitting closest to me. I didn't know him well before. I learnt that his first child will be born in January. He was so proud and happy when he was talking about it.

I think it was the first time ever that the news like that didn't hurt. Perhaps it is because I am at that age that I don't long for having a baby. I long for a teenage child of my own. I still daydream sometimes what would be our life like if I could have a child easily - our first child would be already 12 now!

The colleague started to describe their awesome honeymoon so I described ours, 13 years ago, 10,000 kilometers made with Northern American Rail Pass, across Canada & USA.

He asked: "So, you have been married for 13 years?".
Me: "Yes."
He: "Do you have any children?"
Me: "Unfortunately not."

His eyes widened, in a second he grasped the meaning of my answer and he softly switched the conversation to a safe neutral topic. I was really thankful for that. Not many people have intelligence and kindness to do this as gently as this colleague did.

I wish him and his family all the best for the future.


Here is a photo of Lake Maligne, Jasper National Park. My husband and I loved it here so much, it is breathtaking beautiful: