Saturday, January 16, 2021

Don't put up with people who are reckless with your heart

 


First of all: I wish a happy & healthy 2021 to all my readers!

I am attaching a photo of snowman that I built in our garden last week. I hadn't built a snowman for almost 40 years! I had lots of fun. So - who says building a snowman is only for kids :)  It felt weird at first. I had these thoughts - what will the others say, if they see a childless middle-aged woman building a snowman completely on her own?  I decided to just focus on the snowman and I loved building it. So this is my resolution for 2021: find joy in little things.  

Another resolution: avoid people who are reckless with my heart. 

I started a traditional Friday late afternoon Zoom call with two coworkers two months ago. I enjoy talking to them separately. But all three together - it was plain awful. There was only one topic: how horrible the pandemic is for mothers with young kids - since there is so much work to follow online school work. There were sentences like "I am sure that X as a mother will understand..... blah blah blah."  So I stopped attending those Zoom dates - I told them that I would love to talk to them one on one. But Zoom dates are too difficult to handle since they unintentionally hurt me. I know that they didn't understand. But I don't care. 

I told this story to a dear pen-friend of mine and she said that reading my story reminded her of  lines from the song "Wear sunsreen":  "Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours." 




Wednesday, December 9, 2020

My Christmas wish


 

I have the same Christmas wish as the last five years.
I would love to get an email from you.
To learn who you are. 
Where you come from.
Why you read my blog.
What my blog means to you.  
Did it help in any way?

I promise I will not publish your emails, nor misuse them in any way.
And I promise I will write back :)

My email: klara.soncek (at) gmail.com


I am looking forward to Christmas :)
I loved receiving emails first four Decembers from literally all around the world!  But I didn't get even one e-mail last December.


PS: I took this photo in the city center of our capital - Ljubljana - few years ago.

Unbroken happiness is a bore

 It is snowing, it is late morning and I am still in my pyamas in our warm home, reading a good novel. I found a beautiful quote there:


“Unbroken happiness is a bore: it should have ups and downs.”


Molière 
 
 
 
It made me smile. My infertility was my down. The years accepting our childless life were very hard. But the wounds are healed and I feel at peace with our cozy, quiet and peaceful life.

Tuesday, December 1, 2020

Thursday, November 26, 2020

Ich will mein Leben leben


 

Sometimes I hear a sentence that I just love.

I was attending Zoom German language course yesterday and we were learning about modal verbs. Someone said a sentence: "Ich will mein Leben leben". = "I want to live my life." Exactly, I couldn't agree more! 

I recently lost my job due to pandemic (hopefully it is only temporary) so I have plenty of time. I don't like the circumstances that brought to it, but I love having the time anyway.

I have time for learning languages, for reading, for going on long walks...

If I see something beautiful on my walks, I have time to stop and admire. Like these two trees that are growing together - like two lovers, hugging and protecting each other. I think they are just wonderful. (I showed them to my husband and told him they are just like us. He smiled.)

The covid19 situation in my country is pretty terrible - mainly because many people are ignoring safety recommendations. 

To protect elderly people in nursing homes the visits there are not allowed. I heard many times the comment from the nursing homes, how elderly people are heartbroken. Since the only thing they look forward in life are visits of their children and grandchildren. Now that the pandemic has taken this away from them, they have no reason to live.

I feel sorry for them, of course. It is sad that they are sad.

But this made me realize that living involuntary childless made me stronger - I had to learn how to find happiness within me.


Monday, November 16, 2020

A movie: Pupille / In safe hands

 


I have been learning French on the really good online course for the last seven months,  it is very good. As an addition to the language course I try to see at least one French movie per week. 

I watched the movie Pupille / In safe hands  ...  I loved it. I have never seen a story about an adoption portrayed so beautifully. 

I loved one sentence from the movie so much. The social worker said: "I don't find kids for hurting parents. I find the best possible parents for kids in difficulties.". 

This movie made me realize... how hurt I was when we stopped with all the infertility treatments. And how many years had to pass before I found peace in my heart again.  And when I found that peace, I am way too old to adopt (not that this is in my/our plans now). 

I recommend the movie.