Saturday, January 24, 2015

An excellent question

From time to time I exchange emails with a pen-friend from France and earlier this week she asked a question:

"... I  wonder, in being childless not by choice, how much of the pain comes from the lack of children in itself and how much from the society?"

I think it is an excellent question. 

I replied that I would define my pain with a formula: 30 % lack of children, 70 % society. 

I had some days to think about it and the formula it is true for me now. 
But in the very early day of infertility, it would be like 90 % lack of children, 10 % society. 


*** 

Enough of thinking. It is now time for one hour of swimming in the Olympic pool with my mum.
(I definitely inherited my love to swim from her)






Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Writing My Way to Happiness

I was reading this article today on my train ride back from work:
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/writing-your-way-to-happiness/?_r=0

I really liked it.

I copied one sentence from the the article and changed it a bit. Here is my sentence:

The goal of my writing is to prompt childless women to edit their own narratives about living childless not by choice. Rather than thinking they can not find happiness after infertility, they are encouraged to think that they just need more time to adjust.

I liked these parts of the article:
"...while writing doesn’t solve every problem, it can definitely help people cope. “Writing forces people to reconstrue whatever is troubling them and find new meaning in it.”

“The idea here is getting people to come to terms with who they are, where they want to go.”


*****

I hope this article encourages some new survivor of infertility to start writing her own blog.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Missing Dalmatia







Today I just got this sudden desire that I need my summer dose of swimming in the sea on my favourite Croatian island (photo attached). 

I have just written to the owners of the apartment where we always stay. Hopefully they do have some availability for us.

I love swimming in the sea.

(I am off for a swim in a swimming pool now. It can not be compared to swimming in the crystal clear sea, but better this then nothing)

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Borrowed Kids

I was a babysitter of 3 out of my 4 nieces & nephews today. 

I took for a long walk two girls (aged 7 and 5) and a boy (aged 2 and a half).  

It was lovely having them. I wasn't bribing them with any sweet treats, all we did was going for a long walk. 

We also went to the library. At the library they know me, since I go there so often. The librarian (I don't really know her, I don't even know her name) saw me and said  in surprise: "So you have kids. They are beautiful."

I replied: "No, they are not mine. They are borrowed." 

The best part: I didn't feel bitter after this comment. I felt good after finding a good reply.

*** 

I still regret never being a mother. But also being a very cool auntie is pretty cool.

When Does the Pursuit of Pregnancy Go Too Far?



Another great Pamela's article.
http://blog.silentsorority.com/pursuit-pregnancy-go-far/

Yes, I agree, I also wanted to believe science would deliver me a fairy tale ending.
It does for some.
Not for me.

Friday, January 16, 2015