Part of the team building was a talk (by a hired professional) on how to make the most of our time. And to start with, each of us had to answer two questions: What are we most proud of in our lives? What will we be most proud of in 2023?
If I were with a group of close friends, I would have no problem answering.
My husband and I have gone through the dark years of infertility with 10 failed IVFs and it has made our love for each other even deeper, stronger, gentler and more beautiful.
Regarding 2023 (and 2022): I am proud of my husband. He went through a hell of a time grieving the sudden death of his beloved nephew. On top of that, his elderly mother became very ill and he lovingly cared for her. She died in her sleep a few weeks ago. And through it all, he has remained strong, living each day to the best of his ability and solving all the problems that come up day after day. I admire his strength and his love. And I am proud of myself. I have been there for him every step of the way.
But these things are very personal and I am not prepared to share them with random colleagues.
Most of my colleagues responded / were proud of / included something about their children. And almost all the answers received warm applause.
My answer was that I was proud of myself for learning to make time for things that are important to me, like going for a walk every day.
My short speech didn't get any applause.
Not that it really mattered, but it still bothered me. Until yesterday.
Yesterday I was looking at the latest: https://gateway-women.com/firesidewisdom-rolemodels/
and came across a beautiful thought by Donna Ward. When I heard it, I suddenly felt at ease, at home.
"When you get to a certain age, you realize what your achievements are, and you have done those things. No one else has done those things. And your friends who are living a life that is of the mainstream will never understand the achievements you have done. You hold them close to your heart and that is what makes you walk well in the world, those achievements."
PS: on the photo: our capital, Ljubljana, in Christmas lights
I love this so much: "it has made our love for each other even deeper, stronger, gentler and more beautiful." That is a beautiful achievement. I cannot believe (but sadly I u can) that NO ONE clapped for you. I am clapping for you! Taking time to take care of yourself is huge. I love the quote from Donna Ward. Happy new year to you, sending love!
ReplyDeleteMy immediate thought to your first question, what I am most proud of, was "grieving my profound loss and continuing to live my life." But I'm like you, I wouldn't want to share that at a work function. Why do so many team-building activities at work involve such heavy topics?? I'd rather know my co-workers' favorite color to be honest.
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you. And I am proud of your husband. And, like Jess, I am clapping for your answer very loudly. I do believe you gave everyone something to think about with your answer... Making time for things that are important to you is definitely an achievement. Not everyone does that.
Oh my. I would have dreaded having to publicly answer that question, too.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I thought of you when we were asked a similar question at a family Christmas yesterday. In the end I mentioned professional things: I said that in 2023 I am grateful to have settled in my new job and finished the illustration commissions with a happy customer. But of course my SIL's answer that she enjoys watching her kids grow was probably more likeable. Luckily there was no applause for any of us – this made it easier.
I would clap for you, too, dear Klara. It is an achievement! You can be proud for looking after yourself so well, and after your loved ones, too. <3