But then something happened today. I take it as a reminder that I am not OK and that I probably never be OK, at least not completely.
A colleague at work invited for a short coffee & cake celebration of her birthday. There were 10 of us, only women. As it often happens in gatherings like that, when people do not have much in common, they start to talk about children. Today's topics:
- which fairy tales are good and which not
- detailed description of New Year's celebrations with children
- counting how many of the 10 women has a perfect pair of children (=meaning one daughter and one son).
I didn't leave. Since it would be just to obvious that I left.
Interesting part is how other people don't care. Nobody noticed that I didn't speak even one word. Nobody noticed that my soul was dying.
One of this year's resolutions is that I will try to focus on the positive things.
So today's positive thing:
Me and my DH are celebrating today 13 years since our first date. He is the love of my life. I am really happy that we met. I can't imagine my life without him.