We have a beautiful tradition with school-friends from high school (we were together from the age 15 to 19 years). We meet every year - first Friday in June.
But for the last 15 years I didn't attend the anniversary. I dreaded all the baby talk & children talk & unwanted questions.
This year I just decided that I am almost 50 and that I am done with skipping life.
I went and it was nice.
It was lovely to talk about old memories.
There were only three moments that I didn't feel comfortable.
1. One school friend greeted the group when entering to the restaurant: "Do we already have any grandchildren??".
2. One school friend boasted with his first two kids who are in early 20s and how he and his wife got a surprise third child and how a newborn is enriching their lives.
3. One school friend - a mother of two - asked me: "So Klara, how old are your children now?" She asked me the very same question in the last 10 anniversaries that I attended.
The remark 1 and 2 didn't make me angry nor sad - they weren't addressed directly to me. But remark 3 was.
I am very glad that I did find the strenght and went. Why would I have to miss any more of the life? I have missed - because of my infertility - already way too much.
I'm so glad you went! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Yes, situations #1 and #2 are annoying, but #3 is just thoughtless. I'm glad they didn't damper your fun. I missed a lot of years too. I don't want to miss any more.
ReplyDeleteDear Klara,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you decided to go. Yay! I know how much it took for you to feel ready to face this kind of situation, so it is excellent <3!
But question no. 3 is really awful. I mean, "Do you have kids?" is difficult enough to answer. This one brings it to a whole other level. I cannot believe how ignorant some people are. I really can't 🙄.
Wishing you a beautiful summer weekend! Hugs.
Klara, this is brilliant! I am so glad you went, and I totally agree - why should we miss out on more of our lives? I'm really glad you enjoyed it. And hopefully next year won't require quite so much strength to get there. Brava!
ReplyDeleteI found comment #1 annoyed me too though. I rolled my eyes. And comment #3 - how stupid are they that they can't remember details like that? Argh! (My idea of your response: "You ask me this every year, and forget every year, so I'm not telling you anymore!")
Yay for going! And boooo to the thoughtless comments. I love how you said you're done skipping life. I feel like that's another step in healing, is realizing that you don't need to skip things that used to be too painful. I'm glad you gathered your strength and went!
ReplyDelete