I realized already a while ago that I am already OK with being without children (at least most of the time). The only thing that I am not OK is small talk with the Others (=non childless people).
I spent the last two days at the seaside, working on some project. There was also another company, in which I have two work friends:
friend A: my age, mother of 2
friend B: my age, childless, just lost a baby (at 17week pregnancy)
*note: those are not my good friends, just women I know through work and had spent quite some time in the last few years when working on different projects. Both of them know about my 10 failed IVFs.
This time I was working on a project together with friend A. We were working, but there was still plenty of time for small talks.
Friend A was explaining that her company got new general manager and that she didn't have a meeting with him yet, but a friend B did. I asked him what was he like. And friend A explained that he was really nice, that he had even shown photos of his four children to a friend B.
Here is the conversation:
Me: It is really unprofessional of a general manager to show photos of his children to his employees!
Friend A: Klara, you are so funny! Isn't it nice that he is proud of his children????
long silence
Me: I am not funny. I just consider that a general manager has to know the difference between his business and private life. And how do you think that a friend B felt? She had nothing to show in return, except perhaps two photos of her two dead babies.
long silence. Then friend A changed the subject.
***
I am declaring that from this moment on I will not try the Others to understand us. Because they can not.
Exception are only our good friends who show genuine interest in us and our feelings. And there are really only few of good friends. I am lucky to have some.
Ouch...I'm sorry about friend B - about her losses as well as the fact that the GM showed pics of his kids. That must've been rough on her!
ReplyDeleteI agree with your conclusion, though...cheers for the few good friends who try to understand and who have hearts as vast as the oceans!!!