I am sharing a photo from December. These are the little Christmas and New Year gifts I bought for my nieces and the other children in my family. I love buying small, useful presents for them.
More than once, friends of mine (all parents themselves) have said: “It’s so clever that you invest in the children’s lives. This way, you’ll have someone to look after you when you’re old.”
But that is not why I do it.
I do it because I love them and because I want to be a small part of their world right now.
I already know they will not be there for me when I am old, and I am perfectly at peace with that.
How do I know?
I had many aunts, but there were two whom I loved dearly from the time I was a little girl. Technically, they were my mother’s aunts, but the age difference between us was very similar to the age difference between me and the children in my family today.
Both of them were always there whenever I came to visit. One greeted me with biscuits and hot tea; the other with a home-cooked lunch. Both listened with genuine interest to whatever I had to say.
They passed away many years ago — one twenty years ago and the other fifteen. Yet hardly a week goes by without me thinking of them. I will always be grateful for their kindness, their love, and the time they gave me.
When they became ill and there were ways I could have helped, I didn’t (and I am not proud of that). At one point, I was busy travelling around Argentina. With the other, I was so heartbroken after multiple failed IVF treatments that I could barely take care of myself, let alone anyone else.
That is why I already know that when I am old, all these children will be busy living their own lives. Just as I was back then.
And that is exactly as it should be.
What remains are the moments we shared and the love we gave one another. Those stay with us for good.
And that is priceless.
Oh Klara, this is such a lovely post. I'm sure those children will always have fond memories of you.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually really insulted on your behalf that your friends who are parents thought your generosity and love shown to the children was all part of a long term motive. And who knows if they will be there for their parents - as you say, life happens, and people move all around the world. So the parents should have been a little kinder.
Mali, I feel similar (regarding the insult)!
DeleteThank you for saying/writing that <3.
I admire you, Klara, for the way you have built loving relationships with the children around you! Any of these children (or any adult, for that matter) is very lucky to have you in their lives <3.
I saw your bond with your nieces firsthand and it was delightful. As for those who don't understand what draws you together, they are showing their true colors. Their response reflects their narrow view of the world but you have shown a multi-dimensional view. As for what the future holds, none of us will know for sure, which is why it is so important to live in the present. Your aunts live on in your memory and those joyful memories are what they would want you to recall. xx
ReplyDeleteKlara, this is lovely. How you enjoy the time with your nieces and other young family members for the joy now. I agree with others that grrr, people are so weird to see caring for children as a long game, an investing in caretakers of the future. I also feel like giving you a hug for your guilt -- you had to take care of yourself, too. Love this tribute to the littles in your life!
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