Life has been busy lately. Not many things reminded me of my childlessness, so I felt I didn't have much to write about. But I do miss my blog (and having time for reading others), so now that autumn rain has come I will have more time.
Covid19 has made travelling almost impossible so this is opportunity to visit (and take photos) some of the most beautiful tourist sights of my country. I took this photo of a beautiful alpine lake in the middle of lockdown in May and I thought you would love to see it.
The longtime readers of my blog know that there are many children that I love. But the ones you love can hurt you the most.
A girl - almost a teenager now - was on a short holidays in our place with other kids. We had a lovely time together, full of activities (highlight: swimming in a big outdoor swimming pool in a neighbouring town). In the evening the girl asked me: "When you are very old and in a nursing home - since you won't be able to look after yourselves - the employees in a nursing home would ask you - You don't have any relatives, so who will inherit your house?"
The girl used the sentence - you don't have any relatives ( she didn't use - you don't have any children).
And yes, this girl is my relative.
I don't remember when I yelled as much as I yelled at the girl. I explained that this is OUR house and that NOBODY will inherit it. When the times comes, we will sell it and use the money to pay for the care needed for our old years.
(a note: of course we both hope that we will be able to live in our beautiful new home for another fifty healthy years and that we don't have to sell it. But who knows what the future will bring.).
My husband asked me later that evening why was I yelling and I told him the story. He just shrugged and said: "The vultures are already flying above us." I have always loved his sense of humour.
***
It is not the girl's fault for asking. She has seen some cases around where an old childless person gives all property to a nephew / niece / neighbour in exchange for taking care. I could write many things, but I won't. One terrible sentence - that I heard more times that I wanted it - is something like - They had to work very hard to earn this house. Meaning: the childless aunt / uncle lived much longer as expected.
Dear Klara,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that hardly anything reminded you of childlessness this summer - isn't this a wonderful sign of healing?
Yes, those whom we love can hurt us the most indeed. I am sorry about this. Humour is one of the most helpful reactions to difficult things and an art by itself.
Much love from rainy Switzerland!
Oh, I can understand how that hurt. Pre-teen kids see the world in black and white. I'm sure she'll feel differently when she's older too.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I agree with no-one inheriting the house! We know we'll have to use up all our money/assets - if we are lucky enough to live that long - for our care when we are elderly.
I'm laughing at your husband's comment. It's the sort of thing my husband would say too.
And I of course LOVE the photo.
hmmm... to be honest, I was a little bit angry to read what she said ;-) But I think she did not really want to be mean to you. Like Mali said, she will feel different when she gets older.
ReplyDeleteYour story reminds me of a plumber who came to install a new sink in our kitchen at our old house. He told us he heard his teenage son tell a friend, "I'm a waiter... I'm waiting for my parents to die so I can live on their money." He just rolled his eyes & shook his head when he told us that. So it's not just childless people...!
ReplyDeleteOur nephews are named in our wills -- but sometimes when they do things we don't approve of, or we haven't seen them in a while, dh will say to them, "Wills can be changed...!" And he's only partly joking!
Love your photo!