I have a coworker (a mother of two young boys) that really is one of the kindest people I know. But she is so focused on being a mum that she unintentionally hurts me many times.
She was checking one client's application form with demographic data when she noticed that they have three children. She commented: "When seeing parents with three children I always wonder how do they handle everything. Parenting three children must me awfully lot of work."
I am always quiet. But somehow I was so fed up being quiet so I said: "When seeing parents with three children I always wonder if they know how incredibly lucky they are."
***
We have our very first guests confirmed for a visit in our new home. A dear bloggie-pen-friend of mine is coming from Netherlands, together with her husband and their little girl. It feels therapeutic, being able to host a family with young child. I can't imagine doing that five years ago.
Via my blog I have already met one little girl from France that I immediately loved (and also her mother).
It is a liberating feeling, not dividing the women to mothers and non mothers any more.
I divide now women to the ones with kind compassionate heart and to the ones without.
I love love love this post, Klara. I love your response to your colleague. And I'm so happy that you have your first guests confirmed, and that you're looking forward to having their child there. It is liberating, isn't it, being able to welcome their children? (Meeting Valery's daughter this year was lovely!) You should feel so proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteDear Klara, I think your being fed up with being quiet is actually a good sign. Like Mali I do think you can be proud of yourself :-)!
ReplyDeleteHow lovely that you will have visitors with a child in your new home! Yes, it is wonderful that you don't have to make the distinction between mothers and non mothers any more. I am happy for you!
Sunny greetings from Switzerland
dear Mali & dear Elaine, thank you for your kind comments! Greetings from rainy sLOVEnia to New Zealand & Switzerland.
ReplyDeleteI am so thankful how you have often given me a preview of my future. At first, years ago, I did not think it was possible for me to happy again after living life without children after infertility. But I read your blog and about how you enjoyed your life and it gave me hope. And now I know it is possible because I am happy again.
ReplyDeleteRight now I still divide women into two categories: mothers and non-mothers. But maybe later on down the road I will not do that...
I'm glad you are fed up with being quiet. People often don't know when they are being hurtful or insensitive.
dear Phoenix, I am very glad that you are happy again. And I am glad you are writing your own blog, I enjoy reading it a lot!
DeleteWishing you all the best!
Klara