Since I try to save as much money as possible for "our little house" project, this year my husband and I didn't spend a lot for our holidays. The only overnight stays that we paid were 2 nights while cycling in Austria.
And yet, I am fortunate to have a job where I can travel often. I have just returned from Italy. Italy in December with all the Christmas lights is just beautiful!
I have been doing really well this December. Not that many years ago, when in the darkest years of my infertility, I really suffered in December. Now I am getting my life back which means I am enjoying December.
There are moments that hurt (and there always will be). Like feeling trapped in work lunch where all women are in the age group 30 - 45 and all they can talk is about their children's school and homeworks. Not long ago I would be depressed for days after.
Now I just thought it is sad for them if they are not capable of any other theme than this.
Me for example:
- I don't even mention my beloved Wolf to people who are dogless :)
- I don't talk about my husband, about beautiful things we did together previous weekend to my girlfriends who are single
- I don't talk about nice afternoon that I spent with my brother to a friend whose brother passed away or to a friend who lost her brother because of possessive sister-in-low
- I don't talk about beautiful gardening days that I spent in summer with my mom to friends whose mothers sadly passed away
- I don't talk about my plans to travel to a) Paris and Normandy and Provance and b) New Zealand as soon as the house is built and at least partly paid off to friends who earn very little and can't ever afford any holidays
- I don't talk about my sport projects to a friend who has multiple sclerosis and who hardly walks
- ....
If infertility didn't come to my life, I would probably be the same as most people. But now I am not. I am glad to have this feeling what to say (or not to say) to people. I like to be compassionate. But sometimes it makes me angry - why can't the rest of the world be compassionate with me?
Oh Klara, this is a fabulous post! I 100% agree. I try to talk about things we have in common, things we can both talk about, with people I meet. Asking questions about the other person is always helpful! Why don't people learn this?
ReplyDeleteI also can't tell you how happy I was to see that New Zealand is on your list to visit!
New Zealand is literally the furthest country from Slovenia. So - after that many years of saving - I feel we deserve this travelling.
DeleteNeedless to say, meeting you and your DH will be also one of the highlights of the trip...
Though I will add one thing. I would love to hear about your gardening days with your mother, even though - or perhaps especially because - mine has gone.
ReplyDeleteI think so too! If infertility hadn't come into my life, I would probably be like other people too. But it did and because of it, I hope I am thoughtful with what I say to others. I hope my loss can help me help my patients better once I have a job in the healthcare field.
ReplyDeleteI'm happy you've been doing well this December. :) And, like always, I love your pictures!
How wonderful:
ReplyDelete"I have been doing really well this December. Not that many years ago, when in the darkest years of my infertility, I really suffered in December. Now I am getting my life back which means I am enjoying December."
It has been similar for me. I do think it gives others hope to read this.
Happy third Advent Sunday!