Saturday, August 8, 2015
My favourite cousin invited me to the seaside, to spend some days with her and her two kids in camping, in a mobile home that she rented for the whole summer.
It was lovely to get some extra days of sea & lots of swimming.
It was nice to see her and the kids (aged 3 and 6). But at the same time it was just bitter-sweet. To see the life I could have and will never have. I felt just an outsider, being in a camping which is very family oriented which means sharing beach with 1000 toddlers. I tried very hard to do some reading on the beach, but I just couldn't .... too much screaming.
I was looking a lot to spending some quality time with my cousin (who felt like my sister for almost all life before infertility). I know my cousin still loves me. But she was way more interested in talking with all new mommy-summer-friends that she needs in order to provide her children socialization.
I understand it, but it doesn't mean I was not hurt.
There were some so cute moments that I just want to lock them in my memory and have forever. Like 3-year-old boy, coming in his cute pyjamas every night into my bed, asking if I could read his favourite book. I love this story too. I guess it is the best kids book for little kids that I know.
But, as always, it was bitter sweet. Knowing that I will never be able to rad this book to my kid.