Wednesday, February 17, 2021

500 miles / 800 kilometers badge :)

Most of the days I feel OK and in peace with my childless life. Sometimes something happens that spoils my  peace and then I need my blog to write my thoughts down. I need someone out there to read my lines and tell me that I am not alone. 

I was feeling blue all day yesterday.  I was watching on Netflix Tv-series situated in late 19th century. I loved main characters, there was a gentle love story between a young woman and a decade older man (who has another fiance' that I didn't like at all).  I was very sure that they will end up together, but at the end he has to decide for a pregnant fiance'. 

Then I also watch on Austrian TV the latest season of "Der Bergdoktor". Not that I like it that much, but it is an excellent way to practice my German. Anyway, there is a main character and his fiance' and she has just recently found out that she will never be able to have children. She is grieving deeply. And in the meantime he finds out that his ex-girlfriend is in 6th month of pregnancy. Who wrote the screenplay for that TV series? Someone very cruel.....

Least but not last. Prince's Harry's wife shared heartbreaking news about miscarriage at the end of November. Less then three months later she shares a very happy news about her advanced pregnancy.  This reminded me of an ex-coworker who tricked me - in the darkest years of my infertility - into sharing my infertility story. She shared with me her long quest for trying for a baby so I shared my story. Only few weeks later she shared the happy news in the office. And only later I made the calculation - when she was tricking me into the conversation, she already knew that she was pregnant.   

 Today is another day. The sun is shining, so I will go for a long walk.  

 May I boast a bit? I have an app on my mobile for counting the steps. I have had it for 100 days and in that time I have walked for 500 miles / 800 kilometers. I will be very fit by the time that pandemic is over :) 


  1. Ugh, yes, TV screenwriters seem to love the pregnancy happy ever after endings. Grrr.

    I did think about Meghan Markle. I wonder though - maybe she only felt strong enough to talk about her miscarriage when she knew she was pregnant again? I would not be surprised if that was the case. Because many of us know that in infertility and loss, we can only cope with talking about it after, when we feel stronger.

    And I'm annoyed at your colleague. She was privileged that you shared your story with her, but then didn't share that she was by then in a different situation. That was cowardly of her, and dishonest. I respected one of my friends so much when, knowing what I had been through, she told me about her pregnancy privately, days before her public announcement.

    You're a walking machine! lol

  2. I don't like what your ex-coworker did at all! That wasn't nice in so many ways. And I didn't put it together with royalty/celebrity miscarriage and pregnancy announcement timing, but you're right about that too.

    Yes, most days and most of the time I feel fine and I am so glad for that. But sometimes there are several annoying things at once and I feel sad.

    That is really cool about your 500 miles! I love that. And I love your picture! :)

  3. Wow, Klara, this is impressive! I looked it up on the map: It would actually be less than 800 kilometers to walk from Slovenia to Switzerland. You can be so proud of yourself!

    I am very sorry that you felt blue. Those series certainly don't help as they support all the stereotypes... even though I admire your watching Austrian TV to further your language skills! I agree: that screenplay is cruel indeed.

    Mali has made a good point about Harry and Meghan. Maybe that's the reason for their timing and also for your colleague's, which, I agree, wasn't considering your situation at all... I would have felt betrayed as well!

    We are having wonderful spring weather here with plenty of sunshine. I hope it is the same in Slovenia <3!