Thursday, March 1, 2018

Home is...

I am good. Just extremely busy with everything regarding our new house. When we were shopping this week we saw this quote in the shop. So beautiful.  Both me and my husband are looking forward  to live in our little brand new home by Christmas.

Good thing with being busy is that I (almost) don't have for any thoughts regarding infertility. When something happens, it still hurts. But I am able to brush everything off me very soon since I don't have time to be stuck in negative thoughts. There is way much work to be done.

There is a neighbour (married, two young kids). We have known each other for ten years. He needed a favour from me, so I gave him my contact. He was looking in disbelief saying: "You have the same surname as  X??" (X=naming the name of my husband)
I replied: "Of course.".
And he asked in even greater disbelief: "Are you married??"
I replied: "Of course.".

Silly stupid idiot. And he is not the first one that asked me this.
People just know that only people who want to have children get married.
And people just make the assumption - if you don't have children, you aren't married.

His question hurt for few minutes. But then I just concluded that idiots like him don't deserve my attention, so I just decided to push him out of my mind.  (I wasn't that successful, the remark stayed for me for few days).


Then there is a kind coworker, my age, mother of two young children born  in 5th IVF attempt. We went to lunch together, just the two of us. And we talked about everything, also about our infertility stories, for the very first time. After listening to my story she commented: "I can't even imagine what you had to go through."

Her comment touched my heart. She knew that the darkest time of infertility comes when one has to give up hopes and dreams of having a child.

I am glad that she didn't have to give up her dreams. She really is a lovely person.


  1. It must be so exciting seeing your house come to life.
    I'm sorry that remark stayed with you for days. People are so restricted by their assumptions. Sigh. I'd have really shocked him. Married, but with a different name to my husband!
    I'm glad you have someone who listens, and understands as much as she can. Those people are priceless.

  2. Dear Klara, I am glad to hear you are busy and well.
    So sorry about your neighbour though. This shows that people still think: If you want kids, you can have them. Little they know! I wonder how long it will take society to learn that this is not the truth.
    I like the reaction of your coworker. So glad you have someone like her around you!
    Wishing you a good weekend :-)

  3. I had a neighbor say something totally weird to me one time. We were visiting on her driveway after I had just walked my dog and she asked, "Who is that man that goes to your house?" I was confused. And temporarily speechless. I just said, "My... Husband?.." Maybe she asked that because, even though he and I are the same age, I look younger and he looks older. Or maybe she asked that because he and I are different ethnicities. Whatever it was, I made a mental note to never talk to her again. It really bothered me.

    I told a couple of people this story and one person said, "Oh you should have said 'Which one?'" to imply that multiple strange men went to my house. Hahaha. Another person said I should have said, "I don't know" and just look perplexed. Hahaha. Why can't I think of these clever responses in the moment?? :)