Saturday, August 19, 2017

Never having grandchildren

I was having a busy day at work, attending a whole day meeting. I felt good - until I let one silly coworker ruin my day.

To make a long story short - she is approx 10 years older then me and has just got her second grandchild. She just couldn't stop showing newborn's photos to various coworkers - some of them are grandmothers, some hope to be soon, most of them are younger and have small kids.

If you have children - how easy it is to participate in small talks like this.

It is still hard to me. It is way easier to talk work related stuff.

This experience left me worried.  How will I handle arrival of grandchildren of people I know? I am afraid that I will be hurt all over again.

My original plan was to write a blog for few years until I am healed and then stop. But I guess I will be needing my blog in the years to come.


The next day I was having lunch with group of younger coworkers (they are all around 30 - 35, they all have two kids) and one of them started to talk about a woman we all know who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer.  They told how they check their breasts every month (so do I).  I added that I had already had two mammographies. They wanted to know why and I told them that because I am in endangered group so I was sent already now (not when 50 as usually in our country). They wanted to know what I meant by endangered group and I replied that it was because I had never given birth. It was easier to say this then to say that because I never breastfed.

The young coworkers were kind and intelligent, talking to them didn't make me sad.

It is what it is.  Now it is up to me what I make out of my life.

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