Thursday, December 12, 2013

Well done, baby

Baby Touch Farm

This is something I say to myself when I manage to do a task that I am not comfortable doing, but it needs to be done. Baby meaning me, 40-year-old childless woman.

I spent all my childhood years living together with my family, my granny and my uncle's family. There were 4 kids under one roof. Lots of fun & laughter. I was the oldest one.

Yesterday my younger cousin (12 years younger) got his first child. I bought a little present and gave it to a cousin today, together with a congratulations card. It was hard, but I managed to to it without having my heart broken.  I hurried, so I managed to do it before his son arrives home. 

So now this is it - I am the only one of us 4 to be left childless. For good.

On a way back I saw my ex boy-friend with whom I was during university. I hadn't seen him for the last couple of years, which is good. I do not want to remember that years (long story short: we really did not belong together). I guess if I wanted to have children, my only option would be then, before I damaged my tubes & ovaries in my late 20s.

As much as I regret not having a child, I would never ever want to have a child with anybody but my DH. And I met him only later in life...

As Mitch Albom said - it is what it is.

(and I am not bitter about it - it just is a fact of my life). And I have to accept it if I want to live a happily ever after (after meaning infertility).

1 comment:

  1. WELL DONE indeed, Klara! LOVE your attitude and how you also took good care of yourself - by hurrying so that you could do it before his son arrived home.